http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm Sat, 06 Nov 2010 05:35:00 GMT http://bandzoogle.com http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=557241  Health Update, catching you up: Fall 2010 I finally have all my amalgam fillings removed, which are full of mercury, silver and other metal. I will have 3 more IV's to finish my metal poison detox and then I hope to improve. I had to sell my jeep to pay for them, but it's do or die. I felt it was the right decision considering how far I have come. I hope to be able to afford more blood tests and maybe another provocative to prove where I am. Then I hope to turn a corner and start really recovering. I am still accepting donations, as this costs me 10's of thousands. Thank you to all who have given so far. It has been such a blessing to me. Still overcoming ~Robin Last month: I haven't written every two or four weeks like I have been because I was kind of tired of "reporting." The winter was hard, I was sick for most all of it and I was looking forward to a change. I started to feel better in March, only to find that after defeating some nasty bugs, I was rewarded with some difficult, challenging situations, which have carried into this month and made the early summer seem nervously unpredictable. I have some great festivals to look forward to in OH and MI. We just shot a great video for "Bad Girl", are working on the material for the new record to soon release a single and still reviewing the live tracks from Crooked River Groove. Recently I went from losing my voice due to some nasty viruses, to continuing to be hoarse from a Candida problem again, this time damaging my throat and a I have a terrible lung infection. More than that, I have 4 types of Tuberculosis that are causing my Liver to produce histamine... Nice to know I could drop dead at any moment if I work too hard. I could have a rogue asthma attack, or anaphylactic shock for no real reason at all. My Hepatitis B/Epstein combo is causing me to be almost diabetic. It is keeping my pancreas from being able to regulate my insulin. So this is my continued battle and I too, get sick of reading it, so why shouldn't you. For those of you that care, I send many thanks. I am hoping to my last filling removed this week followed by 3 weeks of IV and that should get my metal poisoning taken care of and allow my immune system to turn a corner. Until then I try to take it easy and get ready for our first festival in MI on June 9th. I'll keep you posted. Update for November and December 2010 December: Today is the anniversary of my Mother's death... Hard to believe it was 15 years ago... I can't help but ponder my own journey and compare the two. Just found out I have 2 Staff infections in my lungs but my only symptoms right now are, of course, my voice... Every illness seems to effect it. I am also having some acid reflux issues and some issues in my uvula. My colon treatments are going well tho, and I will continue that through January. I know, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Good news is I got rid of my strep! November: I went in for testing today and though I had no new infections, my candida infection has worsened and it is effecting my pharynx (and digestion). This is the main problem with me being so hoarse. This new type of hoarseness has been going on for about 6 months from swelling and candida damage. It is very frustrating. My digestive system is in quite the shambles. I need to go in for some "colon help" there and I am hoping that in two months I will see some improvement. I am also treating a gall bladder and pituitary/hypothalamus issue. Still on the road seeing that this will still take a long time and diligence to keep the damage minimal while my immune system struggles to repair itself. Thanks for your prayers and donations. You really have been so encouraging. I am back to working full days in spite of this, so I feel really good about that! I finally have all my amalgam fillings removed, which are full of mercury, silver and other metal. I will have 3 more IV's to finish my metal poison detox and then I hope to improve. I had to sell my jeep to pay for them, but it's do or die. I felt it was the right decision considering how far I have come. I hope to be able to afford more blood tests and maybe another provocative to prove where I am. Then I hope to turn a corner and start really recovering. I am still accepting donations, as this costs me 10's of thousands. Thank you to all who have given so far. It has been such a blessing to me. Still overcoming ~Robin
Last month:
I haven't written every two or four weeks like I have been because I was kind of tired of "reporting." The winter was hard, I was sick for most all of it and I was looking forward to a change. I started to feel better in March, only to find that after defeating some nasty bugs, I was rewarded with some difficult, challenging situations, which have carried into this month and made the early summer seem nervously unpredictable. I have some great festivals to look forward to in OH and MI. We just shot a great video for "Bad Girl", are working on the material for the new record to soon release a single and still reviewing the live tracks from Crooked River Groove.
Recently I went from losing my voice due to some nasty viruses, to continuing to be hoarse from a Candida problem again, this time damaging my throat and a I have a terrible lung infection. More than that, I have 4 types of Tuberculosis that are causing my Liver to produce histamine... Nice to know I could drop dead at any moment if I work too hard. I could have a rogue asthma attack, or anaphylactic shock for no real reason at all. My Hepatitis B/Epstein combo is causing me to be almost diabetic. It is keeping my pancreas from being able to regulate my insulin. So this is my continued battle and I too, get sick of reading it, so why shouldn't you. For those of you that care, I send many thanks. I am hoping to my last filling removed this week followed by 3 weeks of IV and that should get my metal poisoning taken care of and allow my immune system to turn a corner. Until then I try to take it easy and get ready for our first festival in MI on June 9th. I'll keep you posted.

Update for November and December 2010
December:
Today is the anniversary of my Mother's death... Hard to believe it was 15 years ago... I can't help but ponder my own journey and compare the two. Just found out I have 2 Staff infections in my lungs but my only symptoms right now are, of course, my voice... Every illness seems to effect it. I am also having some acid reflux issues and some issues in my uvula. My colon treatments are going well tho, and I will continue that through January. I know, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Good news is I got rid of my strep!
November:
I went in for testing today and though I had no new infections, my candida infection has worsened and it is effecting my pharynx (and digestion). This is the main problem with me being so hoarse. This new type of hoarseness has been going on for about 6 months from swelling and candida damage. It is very frustrating. My digestive system is in quite the shambles. I need to go in for some "colon help" there and I am hoping that in two months I will see some improvement. I am also treating a gall bladder and pituitary/hypothalamus issue. Still on the road seeing that this will still take a long time and diligence to keep the damage minimal while my immune system struggles to repair itself. Thanks for your prayers and donations. You really have been so encouraging. I am back to working full days in spite of this, so I feel really good about that!

]]> Sat, 06 Nov 2010 05:35:00 GMT 6D2D364A17B891A4DB55DE206F2C243E http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=468027  So I had a blood cell analysis in May that came back poor.  My blood cells were not absorbing oxygen and dying off too fast, leaving a field of debris in my veins that my body couldn't clean.  It contributed to poor circulation, a cold body temperature that could not help me get my immune system back and thyroid issues....    And lots of other stuff...  I had the mumps virus, a bad infection i my face and tonsilitis too.  I was begged to get a summer's worth of IV treatments- heavy doses of vitamin C.  It is proven to reoxygenate the blood and has been used to cure cancer patients.  It was another expensive and painful endeavor (as vit C burns in your veins and makes them calcify).  Now even at the end of September, my voice has been almost useless for 4 months or so.  After a lighter summer of touring in MI and OH, I welcome the down time like never before.  I am taking the winter off and focusing on the new record and getting well.  The good news is that I do feel better and have more energy than I can remember having in a very long time.  I have to keep getting tests and get 2 more vitamin D shots and then maybe a blood test.  It's all just expensive and wearing.  Back soon. Wed, 29 Sep 2010 00:04:05 GMT C5B77ABE7DCF2F484C78B1E23804480A http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=468018  I put my whole blog in order from oldest to new so it would be easier to read.  Then I wrote a condensed version of my entire blog in the very beginning of my blog page.  Now I will go back to posting entries and letting my blog sort them from newest to oldest.  Hope it's not too confusing...  Here is some of what happened over the summer: Health Update, catching you up: MAY 2010 I finally have all my amalgam fillings removed, which are full of mercury, silver and other metal. I will have 3 more IV's to finish my metal poison detox and then I hope to improve. I had to sell my jeep to pay for them, but it's do or die. I felt it was the right decision considering how far I have come. I hope to be able to afford more blood tests and maybe another provocative to prove where I am. Then I hope to turn a corner and start really recovering. I am still accepting donations, as this costs me 10's of thousands. Thank you to all who have given so far. It has been such a blessing to me. Still overcoming ~Robin Last month (APRIL 2010): I haven't written every two or four weeks like I have been because I was kind of tired of "reporting." The winter was hard, I was sick for most all of it and I was looking forward to a change. I started to feel better in March, only to find that after defeating some nasty bugs, I was rewarded with some difficult, challenging situations, which have carried into this month and made the early summer seem nervously unpredictable. I have some great festivals to look forward to in OH and MI. We just shot a great video for "Bad Girl", are working on the material for the new record to soon release a single and still reviewing the live tracks from Crooked River Groove. Recently I went from losing my voice due to some nasty viruses, to continuing to be hoarse from a Candida problem again, this time damaging my throat and a I have a terrible lung infection. More than that, I have 4 types of Tuberculosis that are causing my Liver to produce histamine... Nice to know I could drop dead at any moment if I work too hard. I could have a rogue asthma attack, or anaphylactic shock for no real reason at all. My Hepatitis B/Epstein combo is causing me to be almost diabetic. It is keeping my pancreas from being able to regulate my insulin. So this is my continued battle and I too, get sick of reading it, so why shouldn't you. For those of you that care, I send many thanks. I am hoping to my last filling removed this week followed by 3 weeks of IV and that should get my metal poisoning taken care of and allow my immune system to turn a corner. Until then I try to take it easy and get ready for our first festival in MI on June 9th. I'll keep you posted.  
Health Update, catching you up: MAY 2010 I finally have all my amalgam fillings removed, which are full of mercury, silver and other metal. I will have 3 more IV's to finish my metal poison detox and then I hope to improve. I had to sell my jeep to pay for them, but it's do or die. I felt it was the right decision considering how far I have come. I hope to be able to afford more blood tests and maybe another provocative to prove where I am. Then I hope to turn a corner and start really recovering. I am still accepting donations, as this costs me 10's of thousands. Thank you to all who have given so far. It has been such a blessing to me. Still overcoming ~Robin

Last month (APRIL 2010): I haven't written every two or four weeks like I have been because I was kind of tired of "reporting." The winter was hard, I was sick for most all of it and I was looking forward to a change. I started to feel better in March, only to find that after defeating some nasty bugs, I was rewarded with some difficult, challenging situations, which have carried into this month and made the early summer seem nervously unpredictable. I have some great festivals to look forward to in OH and MI. We just shot a great video for "Bad Girl", are working on the material for the new record to soon release a single and still reviewing the live tracks from Crooked River Groove. Recently I went from losing my voice due to some nasty viruses, to continuing to be hoarse from a Candida problem again, this time damaging my throat and a I have a terrible lung infection. More than that, I have 4 types of Tuberculosis that are causing my Liver to produce histamine... Nice to know I could drop dead at any moment if I work too hard. I could have a rogue asthma attack, or anaphylactic shock for no real reason at all. My Hepatitis B/Epstein combo is causing me to be almost diabetic. It is keeping my pancreas from being able to regulate my insulin. So this is my continued battle and I too, get sick of reading it, so why shouldn't you. For those of you that care, I send many thanks. I am hoping to my last filling removed this week followed by 3 weeks of IV and that should get my metal poisoning taken care of and allow my immune system to turn a corner. Until then I try to take it easy and get ready for our first festival in MI on June 9th. I'll keep you posted.  ]]> Tue, 28 Sep 2010 23:54:59 GMT 6D1E42BAF97A4F2D31A6AE62626FDC63 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=128601 Introduction  I got a cold and lost my voice and after 4 months of "singing thru it" someone convinced me to go to an ENT.  They discovered that my cords were so raw and swollen that they could not tell much except that there appeared to be something on one of the cords, possibly a node.  I was prescribed heavy steroids, ant-acids and other restrictions.  A month later I retuned to find that the swelling had gone down which provided them a clear enough view to see there was something IN the cord, not on it.  They referred me to the Cleveland Clinic right away for a magnified scope... May 2008 Diagnosis I don't like that word... Especially when it pertains to me. I try to do everything right, but knowing full well things happen no matter how you plot your course. So just as the calendar is full and the record is looking like it will get back on track, I get "diagnosed" with a vocal nodule and some very swollen and raw chords. Thank you for all the well wishes, good energy, remedy offers, and prayers. If you aren't sure what a node is, it is pretty much the worst news a vocalist can hear, and news I surely never planned to hear in my life. However, I have to do some things and not do some things to see if this will improve over the next 30 days. I have to do them now, which will include voice rest, meds and canceling (against my will) some shows. Then we see how things look and what prognosis will tell. Am I bummed out about it? I'd rather break my arm, or poke my eye out, or... Yes, today I am very bummed out about it. So I am going to go mow the lawn... I don't have to talk while I am doing that. I'm not canceling my birthday show, so I will see you all there. In the mean time, shhhhhhhhhh Thru know fault of my own...  June 2008 BAH! I say that because I pushed it too hard on tour this past weekend (due to a broken monitor) and injured my voice worse... Now I am on total voice rest. No talking. I carry around a dry erase board for crying out loud. I am mute. I did this thru "know" fault of my own because I should have known better, however, no one really told me to not talk or sing while on steroids... huh. That sucks. Now I can't talk at all. I am subfusc at best. Yes I cry about it every day. It's my life's work, my passion, my purpose, that which makes me ebullient. A reason, a lesson, I know, I'm sure, but I hate it. I don't like waiting when it's something I can do. I am a pusher, a plower, power thru it gal. This is the first time in a long time I have no power against this. That will strip you of your morale. It's like my stripes have been taken, my badge turned in, honorable discharge, laid off, benched, from CEO to janitor, a bagatelle. Aggravation doesn't begin to explain it. I can't even afford not to sing. So if anyone does not own my records yet, please buy some. It will help a lot. Pain Makes You Beautiful.... That's my latest tattoo. I guess I just keep asking for it.... But it does. It's true. I'm not sure if you understand what it's like to wake up in the morning and not be able to say hello to your dogs, or your loved one's, or sing when you walk down the hall, or think about how you can't run errands because you can't tell them what you need. I can't answer the phone, or make a call, or celebrate, or rehearse... For now I will be a raconteur on paper: So I cut down a 40 footer today, a big old dead tree. It made me smile, and I didn't have to talk to it. I did have to run from it tho as not to succumb to it's arm like branches reaching out for me as it bashed itself on the ground with a crack. That's a really cool noise.... A tree falling. That's my idea of fun. The other day I built a deck and fixed all my plumbing... Worked on a new fence, cleaned my office, free lanced some interior work, some graphic work... I keep going in one fashion or the other, but it does nothing. I am simply lachrymose, inconsolable. Sorry for the canceled shows. There will be more cancelations as we go. In 15 years I have canceled 2 shows... Out of over a thousand... This is hard. June 2008 Falling Apart This is a multi-topic blog, but all stems from the same place of order to disorder, so bare with me. The title encompasses this image I have of picking up an old pot that has been sitting outside and trying to hold together the crumbling pieces of plaster as it falls apart in your hands. Both my cars and my lawn equipment needs to be repaired, my favorite cat got diagnosed with cancer that is not treatable and after decreased swelling, I got rediagnosed with a cyst on my vocal chord instead of a node... But, at least I have two cars, lawn mowers, a singing kitty, and a voice. Hmmm, the more we have the more chance it has to fall apart? I dunno. Everything is falling apart. So yes, a cyst is worse than a node. I have to go see more specialists, but in the mean time, the swelling has decreased enough that I have been cleared to sing at my discretion. I have no idea what this cyst means except hearing almost certain surgery, and I am horrified, but I am still praying for a miracle. It has been a tough three weeks of not speaking, and learning sign language, and writing on notebooks, and napkins and tables, and jumping (limping) around trying to communicate. It was quiet.......... It was strange......... It was a different world in which I had to relearn my art. It was beautiful and sad, it was wrenching, fun and difficult, my soul was a little lost, my spirit a little underfoot. Not to mention I could barely walk with this back/hip pain I was having. I don't know how much longer I can endure being silenced physically, mentally, emotionally. Everything is falling apart. My favorite cat Wesson, who is on my top friends (I have a feeling she will blog as well), has gotten cancer and I found out today, they can't save her. This is killing me... How many things does the universe want me to let go of? Well, all of it I guess. But I am so so sad. Everything is falling apart. I took this past weekend to go out of town to see a healer (well that is what she is) and an energy specialist. I could barely walk into her office and I walked out without a limp! I am vertually pain free in my hip. I am so thankful. So she says my throat should be back together as well. I believe her. I went to the ENT the very next day, so I am expecting that by the time I see the Speech Therapist next week that my cyst will be gone, reabsorbed, zero, nadda, zip. This is my vision, anyway. I hope she has put, at least me, back together. I wonder how long I can hold it. Health Update from July 2008: After testing I was diagnosed with a cyst in my vocal cord and it is suggested that I have surgery. Some of the details that I have thus far and my emotional responses to this situation are in my blogs at www.myspace.com/robinstone. But for now I am following the advice of the Cleveland Clinic among others. I am also exploring acupuncture, drainage therepy, reiki, and energy and healing touch therapy. Thank you to all my specialists who are working with my thus far. When I complete that, I will return to the Cleveland Clinic for hi res video testing to determine the course of action. Until then I am able to perform within my ability (which is exhausting), and there will be a series of benefit concerts, and I will be raffling off some great items at ALL of my shows to help me raise money to cover all these specialists and my high deductables for treatment. Please come out and see me while I can perform. Thank you to everyone who is showing such love and support. I am lucky. Keep visiting and sharing. Life is challenging, beautiful and grotesque. Health Update October 2008: 2008 has been a challenging one. Since I was diagnosed with a vocal cord issue, I have had to go on 3 weeks total voice rest, cancel 6 to 8 weeks of shows, take 2 rounds of steroids and proton pump inhibitors which must have made me sick because I am now having memory problems and more digestive issues and I have lost a lot of weight, so I am having to pay very serious attention to this. Not to mention the 3 foot long snakey scope that they shove down your nose and into your throat... Ya, swallow that! It was painful, grueling and emotionally difficult. After undergoing alternative medicine routes with little success at managing these problem and this cyst, I am reluctantly returning to the Cleveland Clinic to discuss and design surgery early next week. I could sure use your support in a number of ways. 1. Fund raising. Let's face it, this has been and will be expensive. You can hold a benefit concert in your area or do a drive with your friends to raise money. 2. Donate money. If you feel moved to simply donate personal money to my medical costs, send funds to Robin Stone, at PO Box 39056 Cleveland OH 44139. 3. Buy merchandise. Buy a few cd's for your friends and family. www.littlefish.com type in "robin stone" in the search window. OR if you want to order by mail, send $16 (for each cd) made payable to Robin Stone, to PO Box 39056, Cleveland OH 44139 and I will send them to you. All of these things will help, and of course, your words of encouragement! So drop me a line. Cheer me up. Oct 2008 (from myspace overlap) So... It has been a little over three months since my last visit. I have gone thru the proton pump inhibitors, the home remedies, acupuncture, xango, voice rest, reiki, ashwaganda (is gross), drainage therapy, energy thereapy, prayer and the kitchen sink. I came back to singing and tho improvement was made, the cyst remains and I have hit the ceiling of progress. This is not "manageable". Off to the Clinic I went for tests today. Well the scope wasn't fun, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been imagined. The video was all too cool. To see the instrument of the body actually in use, performing its magic, even in slow motion, was a gift in and of itself. To watch the vocal folds come together to make sound, to see the mechanics was really something. The good news is, the acid has not done irreparable damage to my throat, tho there was redness. After they removed the big black snake from my face the discussion began. The cyst (which I never saw before today) has decreased its swelling, but increases whenever I sing a full show. It is inside the vocal fold, like a pea in a pod. The left cord or fold is larger, wider than the other, causing them to meet imporperly when sound is made. During the vibrations of sound, the area where the cyst is becomes ridgid and doesn't wave loose and freely like it should. It isn't affecting my vocal sound as badly as it could right now, but it will if left untreated. The film will be researched by the surgical team, and then we will have a meeting to discuss surgery. It needs to be removed. The two inherant problems with a cyst is that it affects the voice worse over time, and if it is not already, it can become imbedded in the vocal fold. That makes for a disecting type of surgery, much more difficult. The surgery will be in December. Merry Christmas... heh It is what it is. I am facing it with a positive heart. My main issue is paying for the deductables and all of the alternative treatments I have gone through, and the down time and recovery period. My fears more surround that than anything. If I am lucky, it will be about 6 weeks. If you read this and you want to help, buy some records, come to shows, support the movement. I want to whip out a record before the surgery, you can donate to that. Feel free to get involved, help with ideas. I am humbled and thankful for all the help you have given me thus far. You have been so very good to me. Thank you, everyone, for asking, checking in and caring. I will keep you updated about the meeting. I really won't know anything until then, and even then, they won't know exactly what they are dealing with until the go in to do the surgery itself. Cleveland Clinic Visit November 19th, 2008 for Rigid Scope: Well the "rigid scope" was much like sticking a .44 magnum down my throat... Gag me with a long pistol...but before I get to that, we were on the elevator on the way up and stopped on the 4th floor in a full car. A woman in the back shouted "4 out!" and I promptly moved to let her out of the car. The door closed in slience and I simply said "I guess I need to get to know the elevator lingo" and the whole car busted into laughter all discussing that they too, were confused and thought there was something they clearly did not know... Fun happens. So we got to my floor and I shouted "9 out!" and babbled laughing out of the elevator, to which a waiting room suddenly was caught up in the giggles. Ok, so on to the scary stuff. The highly magnified rigid scope revealed that this "thing" inside of my vocal cord could be a tumor or lesion. Why? It is in an odd place. Normally cysts are in the anterior 1/3 of the cord and this is in the posterior 1/3. They are testing me for Rheumatism. I am absolutely horrified, as my mother had one of the worst cases I have ever seen and they did not know any of that. So we wait... They should know on Tuesday. I also need to have an EMG test in my throat (that should be fun) to see if there is some nerve damage and paralysis caused by a virus (that's where they poke you with needles inside your throat to see if you feel em! weee!). The anatomy of my voicebox does not close in a symmetrical fashion. They want to know why. I go back December 8th for that test. This scope did reveal, however, that the acid damage has subsided, so some good news. A little anyway... For now I know nothing except that one test begats 3 more. I do know that I will have exploratory surgery, but I will withold the other speculative treatments from this blog until I know if this test is postitive. They aren't any fun. Keep me in your prayers during this long journey, and thank you to all of you who are organizing or participating in a benefit for me. I am overwhelmed by your love. Feel free to write in and show your love. It makes me smile. November 20th: They called this morning and said I tested positive for Rheumatism. I think I might just die... I have to go see a specialist.   Now I wait... MY EMG TEST MONDAY, DEC 8th, 2008: WOW. I don't think one could get away with doing this to anyone else, let alone get paid for it. It was like being at the Hostel! It was pure torture. This EMG was an electrical impulse test on the muscles inside my throat, particularly the arytenoid muscles. The arytenoids are a cartilage joint that closes in the back of the throat to allow the vocal cords (folds) to lengthen, come together, and basically function completely. (I will post a picture of it onwww.myspace.com/robinstone so you can see what I am talking about) So this joint was not functioning as far as the scopes went. They were crossing instead of closing, causing my vocal cords to not come together to make sound properly. Now to the discusting part... They shoved HUGE needles through the front of my neck! Shoved them right thru into my throat and inserted them into the muscles. They were connected to an elecrode do hickey and it determined whether or not there was a nerve impulse. So they jam a needle in there and then make me sing. NOT FUN. It sounded like a Russian torture chamber, all this static noise... It hurt like hell, numbing or no numbing. And my favorite was when I was clearly in pain and he said "hmm, is that bothering you? Let me try another angle." 9 needles later and me wanting to cry, we determined that there is nerve damage, paralysis, on one side, the machine was not so "staticky" in that muscle. It is not complete paralysis, and it is in one of the muscle groups that are less effective on the cord as a whole which is how I can still talk and sing. Basically this damage makes it difficult for me to make higher pitched frequencies. The problem is they don't know why, but they suspect the Rhuematoid virus. Did we really have to do that?? I have to see a specialist on Dec 17th and go for more testing to see what they want to do. Yes I still have the lesion or cyst or object in the cord itself that is effecting me. We don't know what that is either. Now that is is the next day I am still in a lot of pain. My tip for the day: I would highly recommend you skip an EMG on the throat... MORE TESTS? Wednesday, Dec 17th, 2008: This will be short. I went to the Rheumatologist Wednesday. After 2 hours of exams, x-rays and taking lots of blood, like 8 vials, they are not sure what is wrong with me. They suspect an auto immune disease, thyroid, or something organ related... I dont' know... So basically if the doctor does not call by Tuesday that might mean the news isn't immediately bad and we will go over the results in January. In the mean time, the problems in my throat remain quite mysterious. Are they related to this other problem? Cyst, tumor, lesion? Why the paralysis? No one knows. So we wait...and I keep singing...indeed. Except that I can't swallow since I had the EMG and no one seems to care much about it at the Clinic... I may be headed back to the holistic doctors in the mean time to try some new things. Thank you so much to all of you who supported the benefits so far. I am overwhelmed at the out pouring of love. The Below Zero and Nickel Benefits were filled with awesome performers and I was moved by all the faces that came to wish me well. Not to mention we had a blast. It is deeply humbling to be on this side of things, but I am truly grateful for your friendship. I only hope that sharing this journey with you means something in the end. MEDICAL MYSTERY TOUR, Dec 28th, 2008: So I was gonna call it "the good news and the bad news" but medical mystery tour sounded more fun. I have had some blood tests come in while I am waiting to go back to the specialist on Jan 19th. The good news is it does not look like I have developed Rheumatism even tho the blood factor is positive. The bad news is "they" say I have Sjogrens Syndrome. This is another delicious auto immune disease that comes with a host of known and unknown symptoms, 20 of which I have been plagued with for a long time. There is also no cure and really no treatments. The body attacks itself, not recognizing the difference between the good cells and the bad. Overall, this sucks big time. Basically I feel hi-jacked, I can hardly swallow because part of my throat is paralyzed, I can hardly digest anything (you can do the math there), I have severe fatigue at times, I can't sleep, I feel lost in a fog, even tho I can hear people ask me questions I can't seem to answer them, my eyes seem different somehow, sharpened, or tunneled (and I have a huge bright red blotch on my eye maybe from a broken blood vessel, not sure how that happened), I get anxious and end up frustrating people which is rather unlike me (sorry guys), I feel like I am speaking in a foreign language a lot, sometimes I get tremors, weird bouts of weakness, I can't put any weight on, I sweat or get hot or cold for no apparent reason, my memory all the sudden sucks, and of course it is difficult to sing, but it's one of the things that makes me feel good and peaceful, so I move on. So I did some research and I have almost all of the symptoms of Graves Disease, another auto immune that attacks the thyroid sending it into overdrive. I am asking them to conduct the 3 or 4 more tests to rule that in or out and then go from there. Yes I am still happy (and obviously I am still funny, but looks aren't everything), yes I am still doing what I was born to do, and yes I am still working thru this and assembling my team of homeopathic healers so we can kick this to the curb. We are believing and we know you will believe with us that I will be well. That I am well. This leads me to the "growth" or "deposit" on my vocal cord. We just don't know what it is. A lesion, a tumor, a cyst, or how about an extra vocal cord so I can sing harmony with myself? That sounds good to me. The Medical Mystery Tour continues... PS. I hope you are all enjoying your holidaze! I had a wonderful time for Christmas, the best Christmas ever. My cousins came in from LA and made me laugh until I cried (thank you Dana, David and Todd) and all of my friends surrounded me with the most care and carefree-ness I could ever hope to experience (thank you Jen, Cliff, Patti, Alexis, Crystal, Kajo, Michael, Connie, Christy, Tim, Chris, Christine, and I said my memory sucks, so forgive me if I left anyone out). Thank you for looking out for me, but letting me get wild. Thank you to everyone who called from far away and left messages for me via email. Let's ride this train into New Year's! (Back to the Laughing Pod) MERIDIAN TEST RESULTS, Jan 13th, 2009: Wow. Alternative medicine is amazing. Since I am still in testing with the Clinic, and everything changes and takes so long, I have decided not to wait to head back to the Casselberry Clinic for further testing. He prescribed a Meridian QRA Test. It is an amazing energy test that has been programmed to record very specific results on a PC. It tests energy frequencies along the lymph points in the fingers and toes and detects interruption levels on a meter. It diagnosed me first with a Miasm. Without going into huge detail, it is a "tainted" or "contaminated" DNA. It is genetic and predisposes you to internally destructive diseases like Auto Immune, cancer and other chronic viruses, bacteria, paracites, etc., if the body is under stress. It registered that I also have a host of rare bacteria and viruses that are attacking my Pineal Gland and Pituitary Gland. These glands control much of the things that will induce or mimic Auto Immune. My liver is also under attack, along with my lymph, digestive system and most importantly, my throat. There is a bacteria that can cause lesions in the throat. They believe I am missing many essential minerals because of this. This is a good indication of where my symptoms could be coming from. My treatments are a series of IV drips and a very progressive herbal detox that will take a minimum of two months. It is intense and expensive. You are all making this possible for me. I have not abandoned conventional medicine, I simply want to address these health issues from every angle. I am also taking my Yoga Teacher Training which is a very intense 10 month course that will help me focus on getting well. I am believing that with this plan, this lesion will be defeated and my vocal cord will be whole, along with the paralyzation in my throat being restored, not to mention my other ailments. I still have to have a Shirmer's Test regarding the Sjogren's diagnosis and I will most likely be asked to go to an endocrinologist to be tested for Grave's Disease. I return to the Cleveland Clinic on Monday, Jan 19th to see the Rhuematologist and go over my blood results. I am not sure what will happen there. At some point, I return to the ENT's to address the possible answers/prognosis on my larynx. Until then, I am recording the new record and it is going fantastic and I was nominated for Best Vocalist in Cleveland Scene. Ironic... Thanks for keeping up and reading as it is hard for me to inform all of you one on one. Music and Health Update - Jan 22nd 2009: There are currently 2 benefit concerts scheduled. Feb 6th AT 8PM at Yadda Club, Covington, KY. Feb 14th at Promo West Pavilion, Columbus Oh. Holistic Update and More- February 14th 2009: Whew... This pathogen detox is for the birds! Oh... wait, I am one... So... it's hard. I can't eat a whole lots of foods that we take for granted every day. No sugar-at all-, not even fruit. No yeast, so no bread, pasta and a million other things. No gluten, no vinegar or fermented foods which is by all means, everything else. I am not even allowed to have corn, potatoes, rice, barley or oats but once a week. But I did plead for coffee, and they said i can have it as long as I drink lots of water with it... and only one cup per day. So you can imagine what this is like... ha! No dairy! NO butter, cheese, milk, soy milk, nada, ziltch, bubkiss! No alcohol! Except for vodka made from potatoe. It's an aquired taste... But the IV's are what are really hard... I hate needles. I have to get 6 more IV treatments. So the IV room is filled with people who have cancer or something difficult to cure like me. It is overwhelming, sad, hopefull, energizing, yet uncertain. We all try to keep each other positive and there is a lot of support. It is a huge learning time, a time that you are flung into a situation you thought you'd never find yourself in. You just sit and listen sometimes, talk sometimes, lend a shoulder to those who burst out into tears. It's extraordinary. It moves me every time. I am meant to be there for some reason. So things are very introspective. I am making decisions that I have to to be well. It has been a month so far and I feel it has been effective. That part I can't really explain yet, but I will know more as the next couple months pass. I can say that singing in the past two weeks has been more effortless than it has in over a year. That is a wonderful feeling. I was on tour in Columbus this past weekend and was actually listed as a beneficiary (thank you Suzie) for a huge concert we did to celebrate my late and beautiful friend Katie Reider and raise money for the things she cared about. I am one lucky girl to have had her for a friend and to have had her care for me. I went to see another energy healer and she used some newly invented equipment to work against my pathogens. I felt better after and I will see her in a couple weeks for a follow up. Again, I am blessed to have these people come to my aid. What next? Well, this is truly costly... So I hope I have the funding to finish this treatment. Then I will be retested as I go to see if this is working and at the end, most likely in May, my blood will be retested for antibodies that indicate Rhuematism Factors and other elevated ANA's like Sjogren's. I am praying those tests change from positive to negative. At that point I will go back to the Cleveland Clinic and have my throat scoped again to see if this lesion has (hopefully) vanished, as I think it is a pathogen and not a cyst or auto immune induced lesion. This would be the best news possible. I know the wholistic stuff is hard to understand and many people don't believe in it. This is why I blog my prognosis, so people can see that this does work, and the body heals itself if you give it the chance. Thank you and read on: Much love, Stoney HEALTH UPDATE APRIL 1st 2009: I wish it were April Fools, but it ain't. I have joined the "4 blown veins at a time" club. We have national gathering annually... kidding, but my arms hurt and I look like a junky. I am still under care, taking a break from IV's til the end of April, I will get more tests then as I complete my first detox suppliment phase. I am having trouble digesting all over again and still losing weight. It's frustrating, but I am keeping on. I am not sure if I will be ready for an antibody test by the end of the month. I have a mean Maism that I have to beat. It's going to be hard. Thank you for all your thoughts, letters, cards and things in the mail. You have all given me much encouragement to keep taking a step forward. Some days I feel mighty, and other days I feel overwhemed and defeated. For now I am experiencing stomach issues, some fatigue, memory fogginess and anxiousness and an uncomfortable voice box, I still have neck pain too. That is definately better than I was. Thank you all and much love, Stoney UGH a new health update April 21st, 2009: So I wax on... I had more tests today... maybe i should start with the fact that the record sounds great and I am looking so forward to finishing it and my cd release on june 21st, and all the fun things that go along with a record release, etc. there that feels better. the tests were not so good. the good news is, i have beaten the pathogens. the bacteria and a few viruses have been conquered. good news for my throat and my pineal and pituitary glands... (so i will go get scoped in the next month or two to see if the tumor in my vocal chord is small or gone, but i have no idea about the paralysis) but, and the big but.. i now have epstien-barr. 2 strands of the nasty thing (because my immune system is so compromised). a mono type and a chronic fatigue virus that attacks the liver and lymph. no wonder i am so tired by 2pm i can't even finish the day-so unlike me, the energizer bunny...frustrated and defeated, i quit. not only is this frustrating but it takes 4 to 6 months of treatments to beat. that is just the beginning. i have a newly exposed miasm which is also attacking my pancreas and liver. this takes over a year of dilligent detox and treatment to beat, if at all possible. I also have high levels of mercury poisoning that is becoming apparent (along with nickel and phenyl). This is what is keeping me from recovering from my candida problem which is why i am so skinny and can't digest. So I need another 40 some odd IV treatments (from hydrogen peroxide to glutathyine to ketosis) and lots more suppliments. I have no idea how to pay for this. My stuff is starting to go into collections. I haven't had that happen ever in my life. this will take another year of treatments and thousands more dollars. pray for me i guess! all i want to do is compose. i want to wake up and make music. the universe is trying to tell me something. i'm not sure why i am even blogging this... i just feel like i'm supposed to. I'm am kicked but not beaten, i am soar but not done, i am totally committed to and believe that I am and will be well, it is the process that will take time and committment and funding. i guess i just watch each day bring what it has to me and that is good enough. i just looked at my hands today, hands that i know so well and they looked like they weren't mine any more. i watched my veins dissapear when they heard they were going to be pricked another 100 times.... I look in the mirror and ask a lot of questions. i fight to keep going but with both hands on my knees half way thru the day, breathing heavy. i lay down with the burdons of all the undone things from this day knowing they will be sitting on my chest tomorrow. i take every advantage of every breeze in my sail to get done what i can in the moment. i practice at letting all of that fade away in the meditation of the manifestation of things to come. i practice living in the present, where the goodness of life is. thank you all for reading and for contributing and for cheering and sending love. i am blessed. i will keep you posted. SIDE NOTE: I realize I don't mention my awesome clinic that is helping me get well although I have referred many people to them. If you want to see the miracles of alternative medicine at work, go visit the Casselberry Clinic at 5555 Mayfeild Rd. www.casselberryclinic.com . This MD is a true hero. HEALTH UPDATE JUNE 2009: In 2 weeks I get the results from a Provocative test (full metal panel) and tomorrow I go in for a follow up Merridian QRA to determine how my body is dealing with the Epstein-Barr etc, and how the IV's/detox suppliments are working. AND it's time! I get to have another anti-body test (it's been 6 months) to see if I am still testing positive for Sjorgren's Syndrome. Wish me luck. i'm not sure how long those results take. So it may be a few days. I will post everything here. Last month, and April were hard. I was exhausted all the time. I have cut back on physical activity and pacing myself has helped. I also lost my baby boy, my chocolate lab. It was very hard for me. He was the sunshine in my life. In other news: I am done with the record! It is being mastered today and going to the printer tomorrow. Lots of TV and radio interviews coming up, you can find them on the schedule so you can tune in. Tired, more later. We have set up and account for you to donate to Robin's medical expenses. Anything is humbly accpeted. Donate on a secure platform here: http://www.shelovesyourecords.com/donate.html HEALTH UPDATE July 18th, 2009: So... I haven't posted in a while cuz it's a lot to keep up with. I thought I was feeling better and then did too much... things just keep getting busier, and then I was moving in slow motion again. The results of my metal panel were staggering. Very heavy mercury poisoning, lead, aluminum, arcenic and nickel. I need to get IV treatments for that because anything orally I am not really absorbing so it woudn't work, not to mention I would have to do an additioal detox and can't really afford to lose much more weight. I have been so busy getting needles shoved into me that I have not even gone to get my blood tests... But I will be going back to the Cleveland Clinic soon to get some additional tests on my throat, etc. Thanks to all of you who have written and donates a few bucks. We still need about 10 grand to get this record off the ground nationally. Anyway, I am still pacing myself. Trying to not put too much on my plate which seems to be impossible for me... I am excited about the record tho, and I do hope you order a few for your friends. It helps so much you have no idea. Much love and music, Stoney Continued on The next Health Blog Collection  I got a cold and lost my voice and after 4 months of "singing thru it" someone convinced me to go to an ENT.  They discovered that my cords were so raw and swollen that they could not tell much except that there appeared to be something on one of the cords, possibly a node.  I was prescribed heavy steroids, ant-acids and other restrictions.  A month later I retuned to find that the swelling had gone down which provided them a clear enough view to see there was something IN the cord, not on it.  They referred me to the Cleveland Clinic right away for a magnified scope...

May 2008
Diagnosis
I don't like that word... Especially when it pertains to me. I try to do everything right, but knowing full well things happen no matter how you plot your course. So just as the calendar is full and the record is looking like it will get back on track, I get "diagnosed" with a vocal nodule and some very swollen and raw chords. Thank you for all the well wishes, good energy, remedy offers, and prayers. If you aren't sure what a node is, it is pretty much the worst news a vocalist can hear, and news I surely never planned to hear in my life. However, I have to do some things and not do some things to see if this will improve over the next 30 days. I have to do them now, which will include voice rest, meds and canceling (against my will) some shows. Then we see how things look and what prognosis will tell. Am I bummed out about it? I'd rather break my arm, or poke my eye out, or... Yes, today I am very bummed out about it. So I am going to go mow the lawn... I don't have to talk while I am doing that. I'm not canceling my birthday show, so I will see you all there. In the mean time, shhhhhhhhhh


Thru know fault of my own...  June 2008
BAH!

I say that because I pushed it too hard on tour this past weekend (due to a broken monitor) and injured my voice worse... Now I am on total voice rest. No talking. I carry around a dry erase board for crying out loud. I am mute.

I did this thru "know" fault of my own because I should have known better, however, no one really told me to not talk or sing while on steroids... huh. That sucks. Now I can't talk at all. I am subfusc at best.

Yes I cry about it every day. It's my life's work, my passion, my purpose, that which makes me ebullient. A reason, a lesson, I know, I'm sure, but I hate it. I don't like waiting when it's something I can do. I am a pusher, a plower, power thru it gal. This is the first time in a long time I have no power against this. That will strip you of your morale. It's like my stripes have been taken, my badge turned in, honorable discharge, laid off, benched, from CEO to janitor, a bagatelle. Aggravation doesn't begin to explain it. I can't even afford not to sing. So if anyone does not own my records yet, please buy some. It will help a lot.

Pain Makes You Beautiful.... That's my latest tattoo. I guess I just keep asking for it.... But it does. It's true.

I'm not sure if you understand what it's like to wake up in the morning and not be able to say hello to your dogs, or your loved one's, or sing when you walk down the hall, or think about how you can't run errands because you can't tell them what you need. I can't answer the phone, or make a call, or celebrate, or rehearse...

For now I will be a raconteur on paper: So I cut down a 40 footer today, a big old dead tree. It made me smile, and I didn't have to talk to it. I did have to run from it tho as not to succumb to it's arm like branches reaching out for me as it bashed itself on the ground with a crack. That's a really cool noise.... A tree falling. That's my idea of fun. The other day I built a deck and fixed all my plumbing... Worked on a new fence, cleaned my office, free lanced some interior work, some graphic work... I keep going in one fashion or the other, but it does nothing. I am simply lachrymose, inconsolable.

Sorry for the canceled shows. There will be more cancelations as we go. In 15 years I have canceled 2 shows... Out of over a thousand... This is hard.

June 2008
Falling Apart
This is a multi-topic blog, but all stems from the same place of order to disorder, so bare with me. The title encompasses this image I have of picking up an old pot that has been sitting outside and trying to hold together the crumbling pieces of plaster as it falls apart in your hands. Both my cars and my lawn equipment needs to be repaired, my favorite cat got diagnosed with cancer that is not treatable and after decreased swelling, I got rediagnosed with a cyst on my vocal chord instead of a node... But, at least I have two cars, lawn mowers, a singing kitty, and a voice. Hmmm, the more we have the more chance it has to fall apart? I dunno. Everything is falling apart.

So yes, a cyst is worse than a node. I have to go see more specialists, but in the mean time, the swelling has decreased enough that I have been cleared to sing at my discretion. I have no idea what this cyst means except hearing almost certain surgery, and I am horrified, but I am still praying for a miracle. It has been a tough three weeks of not speaking, and learning sign language, and writing on notebooks, and napkins and tables, and jumping (limping) around trying to communicate. It was quiet.......... It was strange......... It was a different world in which I had to relearn my art. It was beautiful and sad, it was wrenching, fun and difficult, my soul was a little lost, my spirit a little underfoot. Not to mention I could barely walk with this back/hip pain I was having. I don't know how much longer I can endure being silenced physically, mentally, emotionally. Everything is falling apart.

My favorite cat Wesson, who is on my top friends (I have a feeling she will blog as well), has gotten cancer and I found out today, they can't save her. This is killing me... How many things does the universe want me to let go of? Well, all of it I guess. But I am so so sad. Everything is falling apart.

I took this past weekend to go out of town to see a healer (well that is what she is) and an energy specialist. I could barely walk into her office and I walked out without a limp! I am vertually pain free in my hip. I am so thankful. So she says my throat should be back together as well. I believe her. I went to the ENT the very next day, so I am expecting that by the time I see the Speech Therapist next week that my cyst will be gone, reabsorbed, zero, nadda, zip. This is my vision, anyway. I hope she has put, at least me, back together. I wonder how long I can hold it.

Health Update from July 2008:
After testing I was diagnosed with a cyst in my vocal cord and it is suggested that I have surgery. Some of the details that I have thus far and my emotional responses to this situation are in my blogs at www.myspace.com/robinstone. But for now I am following the advice of the Cleveland Clinic among others. I am also exploring acupuncture, drainage therepy, reiki, and energy and healing touch therapy. Thank you to all my specialists who are working with my thus far. When I complete that, I will return to the Cleveland Clinic for hi res video testing to determine the course of action. Until then I am able to perform within my ability (which is exhausting), and there will be a series of benefit concerts, and I will be raffling off some great items at ALL of my shows to help me raise money to cover all these specialists and my high deductables for treatment. Please come out and see me while I can perform. Thank you to everyone who is showing such love and support. I am lucky. Keep visiting and sharing. Life is challenging, beautiful and grotesque. Health Update

October 2008:
2008 has been a challenging one. Since I was diagnosed with a vocal cord issue, I have had to go on 3 weeks total voice rest, cancel 6 to 8 weeks of shows, take 2 rounds of steroids and proton pump inhibitors which must have made me sick because I am now having memory problems and more digestive issues and I have lost a lot of weight, so I am having to pay very serious attention to this. Not to mention the 3 foot long snakey scope that they shove down your nose and into your throat... Ya, swallow that! It was painful, grueling and emotionally difficult. After undergoing alternative medicine routes with little success at managing these problem and this cyst, I am reluctantly returning to the Cleveland Clinic to discuss and design surgery early next week. I could sure use your support in a number of ways. 1. Fund raising. Let's face it, this has been and will be expensive. You can hold a benefit concert in your area or do a drive with your friends to raise money. 2. Donate money. If you feel moved to simply donate personal money to my medical costs, send funds to Robin Stone, at PO Box 39056 Cleveland OH 44139. 3. Buy merchandise. Buy a few cd's for your friends and family. www.littlefish.com type in "robin stone" in the search window. OR if you want to order by mail, send $16 (for each cd) made payable to Robin Stone, to PO Box 39056, Cleveland OH 44139 and I will send them to you. All of these things will help, and of course, your words of encouragement! So drop me a line. Cheer me up.

Oct 2008 (from myspace overlap)
So... It has been a little over three months since my last visit. I have gone thru the proton pump inhibitors, the home remedies, acupuncture, xango, voice rest, reiki, ashwaganda (is gross), drainage therapy, energy thereapy, prayer and the kitchen sink. I came back to singing and tho improvement was made, the cyst remains and I have hit the ceiling of progress. This is not "manageable".

Off to the Clinic I went for tests today. Well the scope wasn't fun, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been imagined. The video was all too cool. To see the instrument of the body actually in use, performing its magic, even in slow motion, was a gift in and of itself. To watch the vocal folds come together to make sound, to see the mechanics was really something. The good news is, the acid has not done irreparable damage to my throat, tho there was redness. After they removed the big black snake from my face the discussion began.

The cyst (which I never saw before today) has decreased its swelling, but increases whenever I sing a full show. It is inside the vocal fold, like a pea in a pod. The left cord or fold is larger, wider than the other, causing them to meet imporperly when sound is made. During the vibrations of sound, the area where the cyst is becomes ridgid and doesn't wave loose and freely like it should. It isn't affecting my vocal sound as badly as it could right now, but it will if left untreated. The film will be researched by the surgical team, and then we will have a meeting to discuss surgery. It needs to be removed. The two inherant problems with a cyst is that it affects the voice worse over time, and if it is not already, it can become imbedded in the vocal fold. That makes for a disecting type of surgery, much more difficult. The surgery will be in December. Merry Christmas... heh

It is what it is. I am facing it with a positive heart. My main issue is paying for the deductables and all of the alternative treatments I have gone through, and the down time and recovery period. My fears more surround that than anything. If I am lucky, it will be about 6 weeks. If you read this and you want to help, buy some records, come to shows, support the movement. I want to whip out a record before the surgery, you can donate to that. Feel free to get involved, help with ideas. I am humbled and thankful for all the help you have given me thus far. You have been so very good to me.

Thank you, everyone, for asking, checking in and caring. I will keep you updated about the meeting. I really won't know anything until then, and even then, they won't know exactly what they are dealing with until the go in to do the surgery itself.

Cleveland Clinic Visit November 19th, 2008 for Rigid Scope:
Well the "rigid scope" was much like sticking a .44 magnum down my throat... Gag me with a long pistol...but before I get to that, we were on the elevator on the way up and stopped on the 4th floor in a full car. A woman in the back shouted "4 out!" and I promptly moved to let her out of the car. The door closed in slience and I simply said "I guess I need to get to know the elevator lingo" and the whole car busted into laughter all discussing that they too, were confused and thought there was something they clearly did not know... Fun happens. So we got to my floor and I shouted "9 out!" and babbled laughing out of the elevator, to which a waiting room suddenly was caught up in the giggles. Ok, so on to the scary stuff. The highly magnified rigid scope revealed that this "thing" inside of my vocal cord could be a tumor or lesion. Why? It is in an odd place. Normally cysts are in the anterior 1/3 of the cord and this is in the posterior 1/3. They are testing me for Rheumatism. I am absolutely horrified, as my mother had one of the worst cases I have ever seen and they did not know any of that. So we wait... They should know on Tuesday. I also need to have an EMG test in my throat (that should be fun) to see if there is some nerve damage and paralysis caused by a virus (that's where they poke you with needles inside your throat to see if you feel em! weee!). The anatomy of my voicebox does not close in a symmetrical fashion. They want to know why. I go back December 8th for that test. This scope did reveal, however, that the acid damage has subsided, so some good news. A little anyway... For now I know nothing except that one test begats 3 more. I do know that I will have exploratory surgery, but I will withold the other speculative treatments from this blog until I know if this test is postitive. They aren't any fun. Keep me in your prayers during this long journey, and thank you to all of you who are organizing or participating in a benefit for me. I am overwhelmed by your love. Feel free to write in and show your love. It makes me smile.

November 20th:
They called this morning and said I tested positive for Rheumatism. I think I might just die... I have to go see a specialist.   Now I wait...

MY EMG TEST MONDAY, DEC 8th, 2008:
WOW. I don't think one could get away with doing this to anyone else, let alone get paid for it. It was like being at the Hostel! It was pure torture. This EMG was an electrical impulse test on the muscles inside my throat, particularly the arytenoid muscles. The arytenoids are a cartilage joint that closes in the back of the throat to allow the vocal cords (folds) to lengthen, come together, and basically function completely. (I will post a picture of it onwww.myspace.com/robinstone so you can see what I am talking about) So this joint was not functioning as far as the scopes went. They were crossing instead of closing, causing my vocal cords to not come together to make sound properly. Now to the discusting part... They shoved HUGE needles through the front of my neck! Shoved them right thru into my throat and inserted them into the muscles. They were connected to an elecrode do hickey and it determined whether or not there was a nerve impulse. So they jam a needle in there and then make me sing. NOT FUN. It sounded like a Russian torture chamber, all this static noise... It hurt like hell, numbing or no numbing. And my favorite was when I was clearly in pain and he said "hmm, is that bothering you? Let me try another angle." 9 needles later and me wanting to cry, we determined that there is nerve damage, paralysis, on one side, the machine was not so "staticky" in that muscle. It is not complete paralysis, and it is in one of the muscle groups that are less effective on the cord as a whole which is how I can still talk and sing. Basically this damage makes it difficult for me to make higher pitched frequencies. The problem is they don't know why, but they suspect the Rhuematoid virus. Did we really have to do that?? I have to see a specialist on Dec 17th and go for more testing to see what they want to do. Yes I still have the lesion or cyst or object in the cord itself that is effecting me. We don't know what that is either. Now that is is the next day I am still in a lot of pain. My tip for the day: I would highly recommend you skip an EMG on the throat... MORE TESTS?

Wednesday, Dec 17th, 2008:
This will be short. I went to the Rheumatologist Wednesday. After 2 hours of exams, x-rays and taking lots of blood, like 8 vials, they are not sure what is wrong with me. They suspect an auto immune disease, thyroid, or something organ related... I dont' know... So basically if the doctor does not call by Tuesday that might mean the news isn't immediately bad and we will go over the results in January. In the mean time, the problems in my throat remain quite mysterious. Are they related to this other problem? Cyst, tumor, lesion? Why the paralysis? No one knows. So we wait...and I keep singing...indeed. Except that I can't swallow since I had the EMG and no one seems to care much about it at the Clinic... I may be headed back to the holistic doctors in the mean time to try some new things. Thank you so much to all of you who supported the benefits so far. I am overwhelmed at the out pouring of love. The Below Zero and Nickel Benefits were filled with awesome performers and I was moved by all the faces that came to wish me well. Not to mention we had a blast. It is deeply humbling to be on this side of things, but I am truly grateful for your friendship. I only hope that sharing this journey with you means something in the end.

MEDICAL MYSTERY TOUR, Dec 28th, 2008:
So I was gonna call it "the good news and the bad news" but medical mystery tour sounded more fun. I have had some blood tests come in while I am waiting to go back to the specialist on Jan 19th. The good news is it does not look like I have developed Rheumatism even tho the blood factor is positive. The bad news is "they" say I have Sjogrens Syndrome. This is another delicious auto immune disease that comes with a host of known and unknown symptoms, 20 of which I have been plagued with for a long time. There is also no cure and really no treatments. The body attacks itself, not recognizing the difference between the good cells and the bad. Overall, this sucks big time. Basically I feel hi-jacked, I can hardly swallow because part of my throat is paralyzed, I can hardly digest anything (you can do the math there), I have severe fatigue at times, I can't sleep, I feel lost in a fog, even tho I can hear people ask me questions I can't seem to answer them, my eyes seem different somehow, sharpened, or tunneled (and I have a huge bright red blotch on my eye maybe from a broken blood vessel, not sure how that happened), I get anxious and end up frustrating people which is rather unlike me (sorry guys), I feel like I am speaking in a foreign language a lot, sometimes I get tremors, weird bouts of weakness, I can't put any weight on, I sweat or get hot or cold for no apparent reason, my memory all the sudden sucks, and of course it is difficult to sing, but it's one of the things that makes me feel good and peaceful, so I move on. So I did some research and I have almost all of the symptoms of Graves Disease, another auto immune that attacks the thyroid sending it into overdrive. I am asking them to conduct the 3 or 4 more tests to rule that in or out and then go from there. Yes I am still happy (and obviously I am still funny, but looks aren't everything), yes I am still doing what I was born to do, and yes I am still working thru this and assembling my team of homeopathic healers so we can kick this to the curb. We are believing and we know you will believe with us that I will be well. That I am well. This leads me to the "growth" or "deposit" on my vocal cord. We just don't know what it is. A lesion, a tumor, a cyst, or how about an extra vocal cord so I can sing harmony with myself? That sounds good to me. The Medical Mystery Tour continues... PS. I hope you are all enjoying your holidaze! I had a wonderful time for Christmas, the best Christmas ever. My cousins came in from LA and made me laugh until I cried (thank you Dana, David and Todd) and all of my friends surrounded me with the most care and carefree-ness I could ever hope to experience (thank you Jen, Cliff, Patti, Alexis, Crystal, Kajo, Michael, Connie, Christy, Tim, Chris, Christine, and I said my memory sucks, so forgive me if I left anyone out). Thank you for looking out for me, but letting me get wild. Thank you to everyone who called from far away and left messages for me via email. Let's ride this train into New Year's! (Back to the Laughing Pod)

MERIDIAN TEST RESULTS, Jan 13th, 2009:
Wow. Alternative medicine is amazing. Since I am still in testing with the Clinic, and everything changes and takes so long, I have decided not to wait to head back to the Casselberry Clinic for further testing. He prescribed a Meridian QRA Test. It is an amazing energy test that has been programmed to record very specific results on a PC. It tests energy frequencies along the lymph points in the fingers and toes and detects interruption levels on a meter. It diagnosed me first with a Miasm. Without going into huge detail, it is a "tainted" or "contaminated" DNA. It is genetic and predisposes you to internally destructive diseases like Auto Immune, cancer and other chronic viruses, bacteria, paracites, etc., if the body is under stress. It registered that I also have a host of rare bacteria and viruses that are attacking my Pineal Gland and Pituitary Gland. These glands control much of the things that will induce or mimic Auto Immune. My liver is also under attack, along with my lymph, digestive system and most importantly, my throat. There is a bacteria that can cause lesions in the throat. They believe I am missing many essential minerals because of this. This is a good indication of where my symptoms could be coming from. My treatments are a series of IV drips and a very progressive herbal detox that will take a minimum of two months. It is intense and expensive. You are all making this possible for me. I have not abandoned conventional medicine, I simply want to address these health issues from every angle. I am also taking my Yoga Teacher Training which is a very intense 10 month course that will help me focus on getting well. I am believing that with this plan, this lesion will be defeated and my vocal cord will be whole, along with the paralyzation in my throat being restored, not to mention my other ailments. I still have to have a Shirmer's Test regarding the Sjogren's diagnosis and I will most likely be asked to go to an endocrinologist to be tested for Grave's Disease. I return to the Cleveland Clinic on Monday, Jan 19th to see the Rhuematologist and go over my blood results. I am not sure what will happen there. At some point, I return to the ENT's to address the possible answers/prognosis on my larynx. Until then, I am recording the new record and it is going fantastic and I was nominated for Best Vocalist in Cleveland Scene. Ironic... Thanks for keeping up and reading as it is hard for me to inform all of you one on one.

Music and Health Update - Jan 22nd 2009:
There are currently 2 benefit concerts scheduled. Feb 6th AT 8PM at Yadda Club, Covington, KY. Feb 14th at Promo West Pavilion, Columbus Oh.

Holistic Update and More- February 14th 2009:
Whew... This pathogen detox is for the birds! Oh... wait, I am one... So... it's hard. I can't eat a whole lots of foods that we take for granted every day. No sugar-at all-, not even fruit. No yeast, so no bread, pasta and a million other things. No gluten, no vinegar or fermented foods which is by all means, everything else. I am not even allowed to have corn, potatoes, rice, barley or oats but once a week. But I did plead for coffee, and they said i can have it as long as I drink lots of water with it... and only one cup per day. So you can imagine what this is like... ha! No dairy! NO butter, cheese, milk, soy milk, nada, ziltch, bubkiss! No alcohol! Except for vodka made from potatoe. It's an aquired taste... But the IV's are what are really hard... I hate needles. I have to get 6 more IV treatments. So the IV room is filled with people who have cancer or something difficult to cure like me. It is overwhelming, sad, hopefull, energizing, yet uncertain. We all try to keep each other positive and there is a lot of support. It is a huge learning time, a time that you are flung into a situation you thought you'd never find yourself in. You just sit and listen sometimes, talk sometimes, lend a shoulder to those who burst out into tears. It's extraordinary. It moves me every time. I am meant to be there for some reason. So things are very introspective. I am making decisions that I have to to be well. It has been a month so far and I feel it has been effective. That part I can't really explain yet, but I will know more as the next couple months pass. I can say that singing in the past two weeks has been more effortless than it has in over a year. That is a wonderful feeling. I was on tour in Columbus this past weekend and was actually listed as a beneficiary (thank you Suzie) for a huge concert we did to celebrate my late and beautiful friend Katie Reider and raise money for the things she cared about. I am one lucky girl to have had her for a friend and to have had her care for me. I went to see another energy healer and she used some newly invented equipment to work against my pathogens. I felt better after and I will see her in a couple weeks for a follow up. Again, I am blessed to have these people come to my aid. What next? Well, this is truly costly... So I hope I have the funding to finish this treatment. Then I will be retested as I go to see if this is working and at the end, most likely in May, my blood will be retested for antibodies that indicate Rhuematism Factors and other elevated ANA's like Sjogren's. I am praying those tests change from positive to negative. At that point I will go back to the Cleveland Clinic and have my throat scoped again to see if this lesion has (hopefully) vanished, as I think it is a pathogen and not a cyst or auto immune induced lesion. This would be the best news possible. I know the wholistic stuff is hard to understand and many people don't believe in it. This is why I blog my prognosis, so people can see that this does work, and the body heals itself if you give it the chance. Thank you and read on: Much love, Stoney

HEALTH UPDATE APRIL 1st 2009:
I wish it were April Fools, but it ain't. I have joined the "4 blown veins at a time" club. We have national gathering annually... kidding, but my arms hurt and I look like a junky. I am still under care, taking a break from IV's til the end of April, I will get more tests then as I complete my first detox suppliment phase. I am having trouble digesting all over again and still losing weight. It's frustrating, but I am keeping on. I am not sure if I will be ready for an antibody test by the end of the month. I have a mean Maism that I have to beat. It's going to be hard. Thank you for all your thoughts, letters, cards and things in the mail. You have all given me much encouragement to keep taking a step forward. Some days I feel mighty, and other days I feel overwhemed and defeated. For now I am experiencing stomach issues, some fatigue, memory fogginess and anxiousness and an uncomfortable voice box, I still have neck pain too. That is definately better than I was. Thank you all and much love, Stoney

UGH a new health update April 21st, 2009:
So I wax on... I had more tests today... maybe i should start with the fact that the record sounds great and I am looking so forward to finishing it and my cd release on june 21st, and all the fun things that go along with a record release, etc. there that feels better. the tests were not so good. the good news is, i have beaten the pathogens. the bacteria and a few viruses have been conquered. good news for my throat and my pineal and pituitary glands... (so i will go get scoped in the next month or two to see if the tumor in my vocal chord is small or gone, but i have no idea about the paralysis) but, and the big but.. i now have epstien-barr. 2 strands of the nasty thing (because my immune system is so compromised). a mono type and a chronic fatigue virus that attacks the liver and lymph. no wonder i am so tired by 2pm i can't even finish the day-so unlike me, the energizer bunny...frustrated and defeated, i quit. not only is this frustrating but it takes 4 to 6 months of treatments to beat. that is just the beginning. i have a newly exposed miasm which is also attacking my pancreas and liver. this takes over a year of dilligent detox and treatment to beat, if at all possible. I also have high levels of mercury poisoning that is becoming apparent (along with nickel and phenyl). This is what is keeping me from recovering from my candida problem which is why i am so skinny and can't digest. So I need another 40 some odd IV treatments (from hydrogen peroxide to glutathyine to ketosis) and lots more suppliments. I have no idea how to pay for this. My stuff is starting to go into collections. I haven't had that happen ever in my life. this will take another year of treatments and thousands more dollars. pray for me i guess! all i want to do is compose. i want to wake up and make music. the universe is trying to tell me something. i'm not sure why i am even blogging this... i just feel like i'm supposed to. I'm am kicked but not beaten, i am soar but not done, i am totally committed to and believe that I am and will be well, it is the process that will take time and committment and funding. i guess i just watch each day bring what it has to me and that is good enough. i just looked at my hands today, hands that i know so well and they looked like they weren't mine any more. i watched my veins dissapear when they heard they were going to be pricked another 100 times.... I look in the mirror and ask a lot of questions. i fight to keep going but with both hands on my knees half way thru the day, breathing heavy. i lay down with the burdons of all the undone things from this day knowing they will be sitting on my chest tomorrow. i take every advantage of every breeze in my sail to get done what i can in the moment. i practice at letting all of that fade away in the meditation of the manifestation of things to come. i practice living in the present, where the goodness of life is. thank you all for reading and for contributing and for cheering and sending love. i am blessed. i will keep you posted.

SIDE NOTE: I realize I don't mention my awesome clinic that is helping me get well although I have referred many people to them. If you want to see the miracles of alternative medicine at work, go visit the Casselberry Clinic at 5555 Mayfeild Rd. www.casselberryclinic.com . This MD is a true hero.

HEALTH UPDATE JUNE 2009:
In 2 weeks I get the results from a Provocative test (full metal panel) and tomorrow I go in for a follow up Merridian QRA to determine how my body is dealing with the Epstein-Barr etc, and how the IV's/detox suppliments are working. AND it's time! I get to have another anti-body test (it's been 6 months) to see if I am still testing positive for Sjorgren's Syndrome. Wish me luck. i'm not sure how long those results take. So it may be a few days. I will post everything here. Last month, and April were hard. I was exhausted all the time. I have cut back on physical activity and pacing myself has helped. I also lost my baby boy, my chocolate lab. It was very hard for me. He was the sunshine in my life. In other news: I am done with the record! It is being mastered today and going to the printer tomorrow. Lots of TV and radio interviews coming up, you can find them on the schedule so you can tune in. Tired, more later. We have set up and account for you to donate to Robin's medical expenses. Anything is humbly accpeted. Donate on a secure platform here: http://www.shelovesyourecords.com/donate.html

HEALTH UPDATE July 18th, 2009:
So... I haven't posted in a while cuz it's a lot to keep up with. I thought I was feeling better and then did too much... things just keep getting busier, and then I was moving in slow motion again. The results of my metal panel were staggering. Very heavy mercury poisoning, lead, aluminum, arcenic and nickel. I need to get IV treatments for that because anything orally I am not really absorbing so it woudn't work, not to mention I would have to do an additioal detox and can't really afford to lose much more weight. I have been so busy getting needles shoved into me that I have not even gone to get my blood tests... But I will be going back to the Cleveland Clinic soon to get some additional tests on my throat, etc. Thanks to all of you who have written and donates a few bucks. We still need about 10 grand to get this record off the ground nationally. Anyway, I am still pacing myself. Trying to not put too much on my plate which seems to be impossible for me... I am excited about the record tho, and I do hope you order a few for your friends. It helps so much you have no idea. Much love and music, Stoney

Continued on The next Health Blog Collection]]> Thu, 04 Feb 2010 03:50:00 GMT F7D04FCB13D2170652E551D37DD8BFDF http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=128655 This blog archive begins with an article from the front page of the Solon Times and continues from the first blog at the end: Solon resident Robin Stone keeps singing despite fatigue by Bob Sandrick July 26, 2009 By all appearances, life has never been better for Solon resident Robin Stone. The singer-songwriter-guitarist was named Cleveland's best vocalist in Scene's annual readers' poll in March. In June, Stone released her fifth CD, "Bad Girl." It's scheduled for national release in September. But for the past 18 months, Stone has been struggling with career-threatening health issues. Her symptoms have been so wide-ranging it's been difficult to pin down their cause. Stone's friends in the local music industry, including reggae artist Carlos Jones, have organized benefit concerts to help pay for her rising medical bills. George Pursey, Stone's friend and promoter, said Stone "has always been willing to help local musicians and charities," Pursey said. "There are a lot of people willing to come to her aid." Patti Harris, owner of The Nickel, a Cleveland nightclub where Stone has performed, marvels at how Stone has kept working through her illness. "Instead of feeling sorry for herself, her attitude has remained positive," Harris said. "That's probably why I enjoy her friendship so much." Made for music Stone, 37, has been a musician since she was 10, when she started playing cello. She studied the instrument during her years at Solon High School. Stone dreamed of playing with the Cleveland Orchestra but she also liked Neil Diamond, Carol King, Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles and Fleetwood Mac -- the kind of music her mother Linda listened to. Stone's older siblings, Jennifer and Scott, exposed her to progressive bands like Rush, Yes and Boston. Eventually, Stone was drawn to more obscure artists like Jonatha Brooke, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott and John Legend. She was also captivated by gospel music. "No matter what you believe, you walk into a church and it's like, 'Wow,'" Stone said. "It's pretty uplifting." When she was nine, Stone's parents divorced. Her mother became ill, so she got a full-time job to support the family. Stone started writing poetry. "It was more of a coping mechanism than anything else," Stone said. Jazz 101 Stone didn't start playing guitar until she attended Bowling Green State University, where majored in kinesiology, the study of human movement. "It was a different world of music," Stone said. "In high school I didn't hang out with a lot of people who played guitar or rock, but in college everybody played guitar and everybody wanted to put a band together." Stone played guitar, bass and even drums in various college bands. A friend who was majoring in jazz guitar taught Stone a few jazz chords. It was a turning point for Stone, whose music is jazz-influenced. And after playing guitar for about a year, Stone put her poetry to music and became a composer. "You can tell what she writes is close to her heart," Harris said. Stone also started singing. Her voice is mellow but powerful. "I always thought my voice was kind of odd," Stone said. "The tone isn't like other singers. I've grown to a point now where I'm pretty comfortable with it. I'm just happy to be singing at all at this point." Pursey, who met Stone when he hired her to paint the inside of his house, said he was immediately impressed when he heard Stone's music. "A lot of (Stone's) songs have good hooks and melodies," Pursey said. "It could be on the radio if she got the right breaks." Rising star After Stone graduated from Bowling Green in 1995, she moved back to Cleveland and starting playing her songs in coffee houses and bars. She worked at Wellness Works in Solon in exercise science testing and marketing. Eventually she became a computer consultant. Stone recorded her first full-length CD, "My Heart," in 2001, in a small Akron studio. She released the CD independently. "(My Heart) received some national attention but I wasn't touring enough to support those kind of sales," Stone said. Subsequently, a friend got Stone into a larger, more professional studio --Closerlook Recording Studio -- in Cleveland. Her first two full-length CDs sold about 4,000 copies. "For doing it independently, that's not bad," Stone said. Stone also started playing bigger nightclubs. She opened for stars like Bonnie Raitt, Jewel and James Taylor at Blossom Music Center and Cain Park. Stone began traveling, playing in cities from Chicago to New York to Atlanta. Her amiable personality helped her book more gigs. Stone also started doing benefits for battered women, breast cancer research and animal shelters. She supported local artists with health problems. Sudden symptoms In January 2008, as Stone started work on "Bad Girl," she came down with what seemed to be a couple of bad colds. At the time Stone was doing four shows a week. The symptoms persisted, and by April her friends told her she wasn't sounding like herself. "I was having a lot of trouble even speaking," Stone said. "I had to push so much air through my throat just to make a sound." Doctors at the Cleveland Clinic thought Stone had a cyst in her vocal chord. Then doctors said it wasn't a cyst but a lesion or tumor. They considered surgery but held off due to her profession. "You can't make a mistake in this surgery or I would never sing again," Stone said. More symptoms appeared. Stone lost energy. She had trouble standing up. Stone wondered if she was suffering side effects from her acid reflux medication. She stopped taking it and felt better for a while. But the symptoms grew worse. Stone tested positive for rheumatism, which her mother had. By that time, Stone was freezing one minute and burning up the next. She had a rapid heartbeat and tunnel vision. She had difficulty hearing, and she was still tired. Stone also had strange thoughts. She couldn't remember conversations or identify common objects. "I would sit down to eat and not know where to start," Stone said. "It was scary." A mixed blessing Stone left the Cleveland Clinic in January. A business associate had an alternative medicine clinic and she decided to give it a try. The clinic had new equipment that Stone said can pinpoint the origins of an illness by sending sound frequencies into the body. "It's kind of tripped out because it's fiercely accurate, but modern medicine would laugh at it," Stone said. Technicians found pathogens in Stone's glands, liver and pancreas. They didn't know she was a singer but determined that a pathogen in her digestive system was causing a lesion or tumor in her vocal chord. They also found that Stone had mercury poisoning. Since then, Stone has been taking vitamin supplements. She's hooked up to an IV once a week. Most of her symptoms have subsided, but she still has chronic fatigue. "I can't do 80 percent of the things I could do before," Stone said. "I'll feel good enough today to mow part of the lawn but I'll have to lie down for four days. "I have to be really careful how I pace myself. That's been kind of a delicate dance. "But it's been a real blessing because I've had so many friends come and do stuff that I can't do," Stone said. Through it all, Stone never stopped playing and recording. Unfortunately, the alternative medicine isn't covered by her health insurance. "It was my choice to go there, but it was life or death," Stone said. "It's not cheap but it's really effective. I'm a firm believer that if you give the body what it needs to succeed, it will." Learn more about Stone at www.shelovesyourecords.com CONTINUATION OF BLOG BLOOD TEST RESULTS! August 25th, 2009   WOW... Things are new... My blood test results came in!!! But before I get into that, i will cover the other stuff... My nand is almost normal thanks to a homeopathic bee venom detox. Amazing. I had some more testing done that revealed that my detox stuff is working, and my doses have gone down... I did show that I have the 3rd Epstein Barr virus, Cytomegala virus... So my liver is just not happy, i may have had some damage and some swelling but i expect to recover from that eventually. I also showed the Swine Flu virus in my system but i don't have symptoms so I started detox right away and hope to get it before it gets me. I am taking a break from IV treatments cuz I cn't afford them and I need to get my fillings taken out by a bio hazmat team (kidding). I have to get the source of mercury out before I can completely finish treatments and THEN I will see signs of real progress. Soo.... the Blood tests I had at Cleveland Clinic show that my ANA levels are DOWN!!! Everything else was pretty normal, I am having some hyper acticity in my thyroid, but otherwise, this alternative treatment is working. Antibodies have a half life of 6 months, so my count was down from 13.5 to 9.3 and need to be down under 1.5 for me to be considered out of the woods, safe, well, cured. I will test again in 6 months and see. I am so excited. The fact that they are lower suggests that my body is not making any or many to attack these pathogens it can't get. That means I am beating this. Please celebrate with me! I should keep treatments for the next 4 months at least, so I need to believe I can afford it. I am looking forward to getting my energy back and starting to perform more. Thank you all for believing in me and in my choice of health care. I know many of you are sceptical and that is appreciated. I am grateful for your support even if you aren't/weren't sure. Robin Stone The Health Rodeo Continues... New Updates: October 5th,. 2009:   So in my last update, my stung hand was going down, my blood tests were hopeful and I was battling the third Epstein-Barr, swine flu virus and the usual fatigue and confusion, and I was headed to have work done on my fillings to remove the rest of the metal culprits poisoning me. Since then, the bull has been bucking again. (but I did not have symptoms of a manifested flu, thank god) Between my exam and first dental work appointment, I cracked 2 teeth! Very strange timing... So I had them fixed temporarily to see how they would feel in regard to crowning them or having to do something more major... 4 days later I was in horrible pain in my jaw, I thought it was the anisthetic. The tests showed I have lock jaw, tetanus of course, and a strain of tuberculosis and a flu virus... So I can barely open my mouth or eat. I don't recommend lock jaw. I know what you're thinking... "She's finally quiet!" Ha, ya, but I can type! ;) So much for taking a break from the needle... back to the IV room I went to try to get this bacteria under control. I managed to sing in Columbus this past Friday despite the adversity, and George Taft came and played percussion for me. It was such a blessing to see all of you who came to support me thru clenched teeth. It was like a vacation, like a split in the fabric of reality, it was like a dream where things were the same again, but new, and everything was better than normal. Thank you for that. For now, I am working because I need it so badly, all the while trying to get enough rest to handle the work load. I can't get any dental work done, obviously, so everything is on hold while I hang on to the bull's horns with these new obstacles. At some point I will go back to the Cleveland Clinic to have a scope done to follow up on the tumor and paralysis in my throat. Oddly enough, I have had to notice my sheer panic in the presence of yellow jackets and they all saw fit to land on me as I was backing up or running in horror... A new sensation for me. I never gave them much thought before. My friend gave me some epi just in case. The good news is, I got into a huge poison ivy plant (never had allergies to that either) and I did not have a reaction. "I must have done something good." In the mean time, the record has finally been nationally released, so I am hopeful for good feedback. We are hoping to plan soon for the next record, and I am still writing material for all the things I still hope to record. I am thankful I have my friends, my life, my house, and most of my wits. Thank you for all of your encouraging words, cards in the mail, emails, donations, and just help. I am humbled that you would stick with me for so long. This is getting tiresome to read I'm sure. It seems unbelievable... Doesn't seem possible, I know. Thank you, none the less. If you missed an update or would like to read more about this, go to www.shelovesyourecords.comand click on my name, scroll down to read. If you need help and want to find out about alternative treatments, go to www.inhealthcenter.com. Much gratitude, Robin Health Update November 26th, 2009: Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Since my last update, I have recovered from Tetanus (lock jaw) and the TB that was in my jaw, only to be met with a nasty double flu and double cold virus. That took me about 2 weeks and since then I have been very busy balancing trying to not overdue. This road has been met with constant “setbacks”, I put that in quotes because it is all about how you look at it. It is just the universe helping to dictate what is good for the soul to evolve, grow, learn, soften, strengthen, open, give, receive and take in all the goodness life has to give you. So I welcome this day, where I am sitting in bed, my body asked me to and I am listening which is so hard to do. It is hard to sit and notice, give the mind time to slow and become aware of the conversation between it and the body, between it and the soul… In that gap is the only place we can gain the knowledge on how to treat ourselves and each other. I want to work, but I also wanted to listen and be good to the body, so I am building a new website from the comfort of my bed, both exciting and relaxing. I will be going back to the dentist to have much work removing the metal fillings again soon, and once I get thru the perils of that, I will resume my IV treatments at the clinic. That is the goal, there is no telling how the objectives will fall in to place. In the mean time, the national campaign is going great, as I have been invited on the Joey Reynolds Show, ranked number 1 in NYC and 9 million listeners to boot! We are shooting to gain some additional interviews, appearances and shows in NYC planned for early Feb of 2010. I also performed for a sold out house concert in Akron at Dr. T’s. It was one of the most special shows I have had the pleasure of engaging. I want to thank everyone for making that happen and I want to do more of those! If you are interested in having one at your house, email booking@shelovesyourecords.com to inquire. HEALTH UPDATE DECEMBER 2009, New Trials This journey has been filled with tribulation and triumph. Right now, I’ve got some more trials. After my lock jaw followed by 4 simultaneous nasty flu & cold viruses, I was only relatively well for a couple weeks. My immune system is still like a jumbo jet without wings, when it needs to be a stealth bomber. Now I have Scarlet Fever (rash, razor blade throat, laryngitis, fever, cough, head ache), a new Hepatitis B Epstein Virus (saps energy, attacks spleen and thymus), a bacteria that causes ulcers in the stomach (I don’t show signs of ulcer but these cause stomach pain) and I am one big train wreck (you don’t wanna look but you can’t stop). Back to the IV room for the next 2 weeks (big bucks). I hope to be well enough to rock out the House of Blues gig but in the mean time I cannot rehearse. The Scarlet Fever gave me this wacked out rash on my whole torso, looking like a bad sunburn with red dots. I can’t get out of bed today. I can hardly talk and I am coughing up a lung… I also have changing food allergies or intolerances so I have to test that all the time. I am now allergic to shrimp and oysters, but I can eat tomatoes again and I can have a banana for the first time in a year. Small silver linings. I still have to avoid all yeast, dairy, ferments and sugars. My attitude is one of optimism. This fight has been inspiring to many. I receive letters from people that have found new strengths in their own battles as a result of reading about mine. That’s part of the victory. I know that long term good will come out of this. I am losing a lot of battles but winning the war. This is what I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind and heart. I will have another blood test in March. I press on to each 6 month marker. I thank all of you who hold me in your thoughts and fight with me. HEALTH UPDATE Jan, 2010 If you have been following these, you know where I've come from. Most of all I hope to write a very helpful and inspiration book about this one day, and do as many interviews as it takes to get word out that you can cure yourself with help from "incurable" diseases. I am going to be doing an interview with North Coast Voice this month that will help me blaze that trail. My latest test revealed some more obstacles. I only improved so much from my Scarlet Fever (and more, noted in the last update) and my voice seemed to start getting worse even though I felt a bit better. We found that I was fighting 3 new strands of Tuberculosis, and that there was a fungus and a mold, on my firewood of all things, that I have reaction to while burning it, AND that I am allergic to cat dander... Not good. I have a few. All of these things are effecting my throat and voice. I am on natural herbs and detox for these and I am already improving. That is very exciting to witness! I look forward to fighting these each time they arise while marching towards my next blood panel in March, haha... Marching... Anyway, the things that life teaches you along the way are the things I wish to share. It's a life changing secret. I look at the world differently, I look at the sky differently, I invite anger differently, I let go easier, I enjoy automatically, I love deeply and thank constantly. I spend more time manifesting than complaining, and when I do complain, I notice it, and let it go. I act more in kind, I praise others and celebrate moments, I live in the now realizing that is all I have. I don't dwell on the past or spend too much time planning the future. I concentrate, focus and give people my full attention. I live in other's shoes and ask for grace. I share everything, and I find that I want to give everything away and keep nothing but the flow of energy and goodness and love. These are the things this "weakness, or setback or illness" has taught me. I am grateful for that as well. I am becoming aware. I want to invite people on my journey, help people get well and get centered and find the happiness they have inside. HEALTH UPDATE February, 2010 North Coast Voice Magazine is doing a cover story this week. I am lucky they felt this was a worthy topic. I want to be a bridge for people who think illness is simply the hand they were dealt. I went for a check up today for continuing throat problems and to see how I was progressing with my other treatments. The good news is, after about 9 months of fighting all 3 Epstien-Barr (Mono, Chronic Fatigue and Cytomegola Virus) I have successfully defeated them. That is a milestone. I have also kicked the 3 or 4 strands of Tuberculosis. Totally gone. There were 3 nasty Bacterial infections from my Miasm and I have defeated 2 of them, also almost impossible to do, but I was diligent with my treatments and my diet restrictions. The challenges are, that the one that remains is causing problems in my pancreas. I am still fighting Scarlet Fever, and the new problem is a bacteria that is causing ulcers in my trachea and pharynx (tularemia and campylobacter)... I also have inflamed nerves there, so it makes it really hard to sing. It causes swollen glands, head aches, stomach pain, etc. I'm still detoxing from the all the fungus that was on my firewood and the allergy to cats as well. But to have beaten some of my biggest foes was surprising and exciting. I have few shows in February, so I am hoping the downtime from singing will help with the healing. I have more herbal supplements and remedies to get started on. In March I will be getting my third blood panel to see if my antibodies are still in hyper active status. This will tell me if I am getting closer to this cure. The next important steps are to finish my dental work getting metal fillings replaced because I can't recover from my Canidida infection, nor can I fight off these pathogens while I still have mercury and other metal poisining suppressing my immune system. Still, my eyes are on the prize, always on the goal, always on the image of health and wholeness. Thanks for all your wonderful notes and good thoughts. You are part of this testimony. I do not do this by myself. February 15, 2010 I am back in the IV room for a few weeks. I have a couple new nasty bugs like Whooping Cough, Parvo B19 and a new flu. I have been laying low, but trying to stay involved in all the music activity. I had to postpose my studio appearance on Island Time, but I hope to feel better March 8th. March will be my next 6 month marker and I will have a full blood panel. Wish me luck. I also hope to be well enough to return to my dental work to get the rest of the metal out of my mouth. That's the plan, I'll have to work it in around New York... March 2010, The Long and Winding Road.... So I did not post this in my newsletter because it sounds ridiculous.... I have contracted some new bugs and it just is what it is. I have the feline leukemia virus, which I got from one of my cats, and a few other things that are really hard to explain. I have a flu virus that is effecting my energy and other things, and some bacteria's that are effecting my digestion, etc. My throat is better, but my thyroid is swollen so it is pushing on my throat, making me sound hoarse. I have changing food allergies that have certain symptoms, like my neck is killing me since I found out I am allergic to celery... I will try to be more specific about those later, but on a better note, I have been back to the dentist since I have been feeling a little better and I am down to one more metal filling needing to be taken out before I move on with my DMPS IV treatments. So I am very encouraged about that. The most daunting thing is the cost. I will trust the money will come from somewhere. But to try to run a promotional campaign and cover this seems impossible. I am confident the stars say differently. New blood panel this month, but it will have to wait til I get back from NYC... I am hopeful my antibodies are diminishing, like a beautiful jazz chord... April 2010 WELL SHOOT!  NYC was great and after being in a dirty city, I am delighted to say that my scan was clear of new viruses!  I have some new challenges but they will work out.  My pituitary is swollen and causing swelling in my Thyroid.  I sound like a boy going thru puberty...  So I am getting some supplements to help those calm down.  Otherwise, along with the weather I am feeling warm and refreshed, ready for good things! This blog archive begins with an article from the front page of the Solon Times and continues from the first blog at the end:

Solon resident Robin Stone keeps singing despite fatigue by Bob Sandrick July 26, 2009

By all appearances, life has never been better for Solon resident Robin Stone. The singer-songwriter-guitarist was named Cleveland's best vocalist in Scene's annual readers' poll in March. In June, Stone released her fifth CD, "Bad Girl." It's scheduled for national release in September. But for the past 18 months, Stone has been struggling with career-threatening health issues. Her symptoms have been so wide-ranging it's been difficult to pin down their cause. Stone's friends in the local music industry, including reggae artist Carlos Jones, have organized benefit concerts to help pay for her rising medical bills. George Pursey, Stone's friend and promoter, said Stone "has always been willing to help local musicians and charities," Pursey said. "There are a lot of people willing to come to her aid." Patti Harris, owner of The Nickel, a Cleveland nightclub where Stone has performed, marvels at how Stone has kept working through her illness. "Instead of feeling sorry for herself, her attitude has remained positive," Harris said. "That's probably why I enjoy her friendship so much." Made for music Stone, 37, has been a musician since she was 10, when she started playing cello. She studied the instrument during her years at Solon High School. Stone dreamed of playing with the Cleveland Orchestra but she also liked Neil Diamond, Carol King, Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles and Fleetwood Mac -- the kind of music her mother Linda listened to. Stone's older siblings, Jennifer and Scott, exposed her to progressive bands like Rush, Yes and Boston. Eventually, Stone was drawn to more obscure artists like Jonatha Brooke, Erykah Badu, Jill Scott and John Legend. She was also captivated by gospel music. "No matter what you believe, you walk into a church and it's like, 'Wow,'" Stone said. "It's pretty uplifting." When she was nine, Stone's parents divorced. Her mother became ill, so she got a full-time job to support the family. Stone started writing poetry. "It was more of a coping mechanism than anything else," Stone said.
Jazz 101
Stone didn't start playing guitar until she attended Bowling Green State University, where majored in kinesiology, the study of human movement. "It was a different world of music," Stone said. "In high school I didn't hang out with a lot of people who played guitar or rock, but in college everybody played guitar and everybody wanted to put a band together." Stone played guitar, bass and even drums in various college bands. A friend who was majoring in jazz guitar taught Stone a few jazz chords. It was a turning point for Stone, whose music is jazz-influenced. And after playing guitar for about a year, Stone put her poetry to music and became a composer. "You can tell what she writes is close to her heart," Harris said. Stone also started singing. Her voice is mellow but powerful. "I always thought my voice was kind of odd," Stone said. "The tone isn't like other singers. I've grown to a point now where I'm pretty comfortable with it. I'm just happy to be singing at all at this point." Pursey, who met Stone when he hired her to paint the inside of his house, said he was immediately impressed when he heard Stone's music. "A lot of (Stone's) songs have good hooks and melodies," Pursey said. "It could be on the radio if she got the right breaks."
Rising star
After Stone graduated from Bowling Green in 1995, she moved back to Cleveland and starting playing her songs in coffee houses and bars. She worked at Wellness Works in Solon in exercise science testing and marketing. Eventually she became a computer consultant. Stone recorded her first full-length CD, "My Heart," in 2001, in a small Akron studio. She released the CD independently. "(My Heart) received some national attention but I wasn't touring enough to support those kind of sales," Stone said. Subsequently, a friend got Stone into a larger, more professional studio --Closerlook Recording Studio -- in Cleveland. Her first two full-length CDs sold about 4,000 copies. "For doing it independently, that's not bad," Stone said. Stone also started playing bigger nightclubs. She opened for stars like Bonnie Raitt, Jewel and James Taylor at Blossom Music Center and Cain Park. Stone began traveling, playing in cities from Chicago to New York to Atlanta. Her amiable personality helped her book more gigs. Stone also started doing benefits for battered women, breast cancer research and animal shelters. She supported local artists with health problems.

Sudden symptoms
In January 2008, as Stone started work on "Bad Girl," she came down with what seemed to be a couple of bad colds. At the time Stone was doing four shows a week. The symptoms persisted, and by April her friends told her she wasn't sounding like herself. "I was having a lot of trouble even speaking," Stone said. "I had to push so much air through my throat just to make a sound." Doctors at the Cleveland Clinic thought Stone had a cyst in her vocal chord. Then doctors said it wasn't a cyst but a lesion or tumor. They considered surgery but held off due to her profession. "You can't make a mistake in this surgery or I would never sing again," Stone said. More symptoms appeared. Stone lost energy. She had trouble standing up. Stone wondered if she was suffering side effects from her acid reflux medication. She stopped taking it and felt better for a while. But the symptoms grew worse. Stone tested positive for rheumatism, which her mother had. By that time, Stone was freezing one minute and burning up the next. She had a rapid heartbeat and tunnel vision. She had difficulty hearing, and she was still tired. Stone also had strange thoughts. She couldn't remember conversations or identify common objects. "I would sit down to eat and not know where to start," Stone said. "It was scary."

A mixed blessing
Stone left the Cleveland Clinic in January. A business associate had an alternative medicine clinic and she decided to give it a try. The clinic had new equipment that Stone said can pinpoint the origins of an illness by sending sound frequencies into the body. "It's kind of tripped out because it's fiercely accurate, but modern medicine would laugh at it," Stone said. Technicians found pathogens in Stone's glands, liver and pancreas. They didn't know she was a singer but determined that a pathogen in her digestive system was causing a lesion or tumor in her vocal chord. They also found that Stone had mercury poisoning. Since then, Stone has been taking vitamin supplements. She's hooked up to an IV once a week. Most of her symptoms have subsided, but she still has chronic fatigue. "I can't do 80 percent of the things I could do before," Stone said. "I'll feel good enough today to mow part of the lawn but I'll have to lie down for four days. "I have to be really careful how I pace myself. That's been kind of a delicate dance. "But it's been a real blessing because I've had so many friends come and do stuff that I can't do," Stone said. Through it all, Stone never stopped playing and recording. Unfortunately, the alternative medicine isn't covered by her health insurance. "It was my choice to go there, but it was life or death," Stone said. "It's not cheap but it's really effective. I'm a firm believer that if you give the body what it needs to succeed, it will." Learn more about Stone at www.shelovesyourecords.com

CONTINUATION OF BLOG

BLOOD TEST RESULTS! August 25th, 2009

 

WOW... Things are new... My blood test results came in!!! But before I get into that, i will cover the other stuff... My nand is almost normal thanks to a homeopathic bee venom detox. Amazing. I had some more testing done that revealed that my detox stuff is working, and my doses have gone down... I did show that I have the 3rd Epstein Barr virus, Cytomegala virus... So my liver is just not happy, i may have had some damage and some swelling but i expect to recover from that eventually. I also showed the Swine Flu virus in my system but i don't have symptoms so I started detox right away and hope to get it before it gets me. I am taking a break from IV treatments cuz I cn't afford them and I need to get my fillings taken out by a bio hazmat team (kidding). I have to get the source of mercury out before I can completely finish treatments and THEN I will see signs of real progress. Soo.... the Blood tests I had at Cleveland Clinic show that my ANA levels are DOWN!!! Everything else was pretty normal, I am having some hyper acticity in my thyroid, but otherwise, this alternative treatment is working. Antibodies have a half life of 6 months, so my count was down from 13.5 to 9.3 and need to be down under 1.5 for me to be considered out of the woods, safe, well, cured. I will test again in 6 months and see. I am so excited. The fact that they are lower suggests that my body is not making any or many to attack these pathogens it can't get. That means I am beating this. Please celebrate with me! I should keep treatments for the next 4 months at least, so I need to believe I can afford it. I am looking forward to getting my energy back and starting to perform more. Thank you all for believing in me and in my choice of health care. I know many of you are sceptical and that is appreciated. I am grateful for your support even if you aren't/weren't sure. Robin Stone

The Health Rodeo Continues... New Updates: October 5th,. 2009:

  So in my last update, my stung hand was going down, my blood tests were hopeful and I was battling the third Epstein-Barr, swine flu virus and the usual fatigue and confusion, and I was headed to have work done on my fillings to remove the rest of the metal culprits poisoning me. Since then, the bull has been bucking again. (but I did not have symptoms of a manifested flu, thank god) Between my exam and first dental work appointment, I cracked 2 teeth! Very strange timing... So I had them fixed temporarily to see how they would feel in regard to crowning them or having to do something more major... 4 days later I was in horrible pain in my jaw, I thought it was the anisthetic. The tests showed I have lock jaw, tetanus of course, and a strain of tuberculosis and a flu virus... So I can barely open my mouth or eat. I don't recommend lock jaw. I know what you're thinking... "She's finally quiet!" Ha, ya, but I can type! ;) So much for taking a break from the needle... back to the IV room I went to try to get this bacteria under control. I managed to sing in Columbus this past Friday despite the adversity, and George Taft came and played percussion for me. It was such a blessing to see all of you who came to support me thru clenched teeth. It was like a vacation, like a split in the fabric of reality, it was like a dream where things were the same again, but new, and everything was better than normal. Thank you for that. For now, I am working because I need it so badly, all the while trying to get enough rest to handle the work load. I can't get any dental work done, obviously, so everything is on hold while I hang on to the bull's horns with these new obstacles. At some point I will go back to the Cleveland Clinic to have a scope done to follow up on the tumor and paralysis in my throat. Oddly enough, I have had to notice my sheer panic in the presence of yellow jackets and they all saw fit to land on me as I was backing up or running in horror... A new sensation for me. I never gave them much thought before. My friend gave me some epi just in case. The good news is, I got into a huge poison ivy plant (never had allergies to that either) and I did not have a reaction. "I must have done something good." In the mean time, the record has finally been nationally released, so I am hopeful for good feedback. We are hoping to plan soon for the next record, and I am still writing material for all the things I still hope to record. I am thankful I have my friends, my life, my house, and most of my wits. Thank you for all of your encouraging words, cards in the mail, emails, donations, and just help. I am humbled that you would stick with me for so long. This is getting tiresome to read I'm sure. It seems unbelievable... Doesn't seem possible, I know. Thank you, none the less. If you missed an update or would like to read more about this, go to www.shelovesyourecords.comand click on my name, scroll down to read. If you need help and want to find out about alternative treatments, go to www.inhealthcenter.com. Much gratitude, Robin

Health Update November 26th, 2009:

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Since my last update, I have recovered from Tetanus (lock jaw) and the TB that was in my jaw, only to be met with a nasty double flu and double cold virus. That took me about 2 weeks and since then I have been very busy balancing trying to not overdue. This road has been met with constant “setbacks”, I put that in quotes because it is all about how you look at it. It is just the universe helping to dictate what is good for the soul to evolve, grow, learn, soften, strengthen, open, give, receive and take in all the goodness life has to give you. So I welcome this day, where I am sitting in bed, my body asked me to and I am listening which is so hard to do. It is hard to sit and notice, give the mind time to slow and become aware of the conversation between it and the body, between it and the soul… In that gap is the only place we can gain the knowledge on how to treat ourselves and each other. I want to work, but I also wanted to listen and be good to the body, so I am building a new website from the comfort of my bed, both exciting and relaxing. I will be going back to the dentist to have much work removing the metal fillings again soon, and once I get thru the perils of that, I will resume my IV treatments at the clinic. That is the goal, there is no telling how the objectives will fall in to place. In the mean time, the national campaign is going great, as I have been invited on the Joey Reynolds Show, ranked number 1 in NYC and 9 million listeners to boot! We are shooting to gain some additional interviews, appearances and shows in NYC planned for early Feb of 2010. I also performed for a sold out house concert in Akron at Dr. T’s. It was one of the most special shows I have had the pleasure of engaging. I want to thank everyone for making that happen and I want to do more of those! If you are interested in having one at your house, email booking@shelovesyourecords.com to inquire.

HEALTH UPDATE DECEMBER 2009, New Trials

This journey has been filled with tribulation and triumph. Right now, I’ve got some more trials. After my lock jaw followed by 4 simultaneous nasty flu & cold viruses, I was only relatively well for a couple weeks. My immune system is still like a jumbo jet without wings, when it needs to be a stealth bomber. Now I have Scarlet Fever (rash, razor blade throat, laryngitis, fever, cough, head ache), a new Hepatitis B Epstein Virus (saps energy, attacks spleen and thymus), a bacteria that causes ulcers in the stomach (I don’t show signs of ulcer but these cause stomach pain) and I am one big train wreck (you don’t wanna look but you can’t stop). Back to the IV room for the next 2 weeks (big bucks). I hope to be well enough to rock out the House of Blues gig but in the mean time I cannot rehearse. The Scarlet Fever gave me this wacked out rash on my whole torso, looking like a bad sunburn with red dots. I can’t get out of bed today. I can hardly talk and I am coughing up a lung… I also have changing food allergies or intolerances so I have to test that all the time. I am now allergic to shrimp and oysters, but I can eat tomatoes again and I can have a banana for the first time in a year. Small silver linings. I still have to avoid all yeast, dairy, ferments and sugars. My attitude is one of optimism. This fight has been inspiring to many. I receive letters from people that have found new strengths in their own battles as a result of reading about mine. That’s part of the victory. I know that long term good will come out of this. I am losing a lot of battles but winning the war. This is what I constantly keep in the forefront of my mind and heart. I will have another blood test in March. I press on to each 6 month marker. I thank all of you who hold me in your thoughts and fight with me.

HEALTH UPDATE Jan, 2010

If you have been following these, you know where I've come from. Most of all I hope to write a very helpful and inspiration book about this one day, and do as many interviews as it takes to get word out that you can cure yourself with help from "incurable" diseases. I am going to be doing an interview with North Coast Voice this month that will help me blaze that trail. My latest test revealed some more obstacles. I only improved so much from my Scarlet Fever (and more, noted in the last update) and my voice seemed to start getting worse even though I felt a bit better. We found that I was fighting 3 new strands of Tuberculosis, and that there was a fungus and a mold, on my firewood of all things, that I have reaction to while burning it, AND that I am allergic to cat dander... Not good. I have a few. All of these things are effecting my throat and voice. I am on natural herbs and detox for these and I am already improving. That is very exciting to witness! I look forward to fighting these each time they arise while marching towards my next blood panel in March, haha... Marching... Anyway, the things that life teaches you along the way are the things I wish to share. It's a life changing secret. I look at the world differently, I look at the sky differently, I invite anger differently, I let go easier, I enjoy automatically, I love deeply and thank constantly. I spend more time manifesting than complaining, and when I do complain, I notice it, and let it go. I act more in kind, I praise others and celebrate moments, I live in the now realizing that is all I have. I don't dwell on the past or spend too much time planning the future. I concentrate, focus and give people my full attention. I live in other's shoes and ask for grace. I share everything, and I find that I want to give everything away and keep nothing but the flow of energy and goodness and love. These are the things this "weakness, or setback or illness" has taught me. I am grateful for that as well. I am becoming aware. I want to invite people on my journey, help people get well and get centered and find the happiness they have inside.

HEALTH UPDATE February, 2010
North Coast Voice Magazine is doing a cover story this week. I am lucky they felt this was a worthy topic. I want to be a bridge for people who think illness is simply the hand they were dealt. I went for a check up today for continuing throat problems and to see how I was progressing with my other treatments. The good news is, after about 9 months of fighting all 3 Epstien-Barr (Mono, Chronic Fatigue and Cytomegola Virus) I have successfully defeated them. That is a milestone. I have also kicked the 3 or 4 strands of Tuberculosis. Totally gone. There were 3 nasty Bacterial infections from my Miasm and I have defeated 2 of them, also almost impossible to do, but I was diligent with my treatments and my diet restrictions. The challenges are, that the one that remains is causing problems in my pancreas. I am still fighting Scarlet Fever, and the new problem is a bacteria that is causing ulcers in my trachea and pharynx (tularemia and campylobacter)... I also have inflamed nerves there, so it makes it really hard to sing. It causes swollen glands, head aches, stomach pain, etc. I'm still detoxing from the all the fungus that was on my firewood and the allergy to cats as well. But to have beaten some of my biggest foes was surprising and exciting. I have few shows in February, so I am hoping the downtime from singing will help with the healing. I have more herbal supplements and remedies to get started on. In March I will be getting my third blood panel to see if my antibodies are still in hyper active status. This will tell me if I am getting closer to this cure. The next important steps are to finish my dental work getting metal fillings replaced because I can't recover from my Canidida infection, nor can I fight off these pathogens while I still have mercury and other metal poisining suppressing my immune system. Still, my eyes are on the prize, always on the goal, always on the image of health and wholeness. Thanks for all your wonderful notes and good thoughts. You are part of this testimony. I do not do this by myself.

February 15, 2010 I am back in the IV room for a few weeks. I have a couple new nasty bugs like Whooping Cough, Parvo B19 and a new flu. I have been laying low, but trying to stay involved in all the music activity. I had to postpose my studio appearance on Island Time, but I hope to feel better March 8th. March will be my next 6 month marker and I will have a full blood panel. Wish me luck. I also hope to be well enough to return to my dental work to get the rest of the metal out of my mouth. That's the plan, I'll have to work it in around New York...

March 2010, The Long and Winding Road.... So I did not post this in my newsletter because it sounds ridiculous.... I have contracted some new bugs and it just is what it is. I have the feline leukemia virus, which I got from one of my cats, and a few other things that are really hard to explain. I have a flu virus that is effecting my energy and other things, and some bacteria's that are effecting my digestion, etc. My throat is better, but my thyroid is swollen so it is pushing on my throat, making me sound hoarse. I have changing food allergies that have certain symptoms, like my neck is killing me since I found out I am allergic to celery... I will try to be more specific about those later, but on a better note, I have been back to the dentist since I have been feeling a little better and I am down to one more metal filling needing to be taken out before I move on with my DMPS IV treatments. So I am very encouraged about that. The most daunting thing is the cost. I will trust the money will come from somewhere. But to try to run a promotional campaign and cover this seems impossible. I am confident the stars say differently. New blood panel this month, but it will have to wait til I get back from NYC... I am hopeful my antibodies are diminishing, like a beautiful jazz chord...

April 2010
WELL SHOOT!  NYC was great and after being in a dirty city, I am delighted to say that my scan was clear of new viruses!  I have some new challenges but they will work out.  My pituitary is swollen and causing swelling in my Thyroid.  I sound like a boy going thru puberty...  So I am getting some supplements to help those calm down.  Otherwise, along with the weather I am feeling warm and refreshed, ready for good things!
]]> Thu, 04 Feb 2010 02:45:00 GMT CDD764035263D43C17EA05745FD64DCF http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175707  Dec 2007 This Wilderness I got up and took a long walk this morning on the 10 acre winter tundra with my three labs, I had promised them I would, but it ended up being just as much for me. Even thru the tightness of my back, I plunged around thru the snow knowing I so needed the woods today, and i winded all thu my valley, walking the river, this alive, breathing, rolling, being, rippling it's way over rocks, gathering itself in the pools at the bend to get ready for the next turn, so it could quickly trip again, so much like life. I stood there and stared at it asking it a lot of questions about today. What will happen? I am at a crossroad. I suddenly felt at ease, and told the universe I was ready for any answer it had for me. I could tell by the way i was standing up straight with my shoulders deep and onto my back that things would be in line. My dogs wiggled round in the snowy brush, sniffing up trails in their pretend hunt. All except for Faye, she was throwing a huge Jolly Ball at my feet- "throw it mom". I look back at the river... I have suddenly outgrown this place. Not in a "i need more than 10 acres" way, but in a "the world is my playground" way. I need to go out and get that ever so precious time with space. This place is so beautiful any time of year, but it never ceases to answer my greatest needs, questions and make my eyes well up with emotion at it's depth and beauty and the fact that it needs to do nothing to bring me everything. What will this wilderness bring me today? Will I emerge happy today? Either way, yes, I am a happy girl, and I have been blessed no matter what the answer becomes. My dogs are ready to relocate, they scamper up a tall valley wall looking for deer, rabbits, whatever. They pull me along the walk like a magnet. I am not ready to go, but the day is calling, so i oblige them. We don't see any deer today, and i am glad, it would be a huge disruption to our peaceful walk if my girls had broke gate to make chase, me trailing after them with big boots and useless back... They are here all the time, it was like they went and hid so I could have my time alone. I elevate up the everest like slope and return to the top where the ranch is. I feel as if I did not have enough time, so I plunge forward towards the lake and take a look and a stretch. Then my brain reminds me, "oh, I should do this while i am out here, and then pick up that, and then move that back and then fix that and then get that bird back in the coop and then feed the dogs and cats and...." The day has ensnared me... This Wilderness
I got up and took a long walk this morning on the 10 acre winter tundra with my three labs, I had promised them I would, but it ended up being just as much for me. Even thru the tightness of my back, I plunged around thru the snow knowing I so needed the woods today, and i winded all thu my valley, walking the river, this alive, breathing, rolling, being, rippling it's way over rocks, gathering itself in the pools at the bend to get ready for the next turn, so it could quickly trip again, so much like life. I stood there and stared at it asking it a lot of questions about today. What will happen? I am at a crossroad. I suddenly felt at ease, and told the universe I was ready for any answer it had for me. I could tell by the way i was standing up straight with my shoulders deep and onto my back that things would be in line.

My dogs wiggled round in the snowy brush, sniffing up trails in their pretend hunt. All except for Faye, she was throwing a huge Jolly Ball at my feet- "throw it mom".

I look back at the river... I have suddenly outgrown this place. Not in a "i need more than 10 acres" way, but in a "the world is my playground" way. I need to go out and get that ever so precious time with space. This place is so beautiful any time of year, but it never ceases to answer my greatest needs, questions and make my eyes well up with emotion at it's depth and beauty and the fact that it needs to do nothing to bring me everything. What will this wilderness bring me today? Will I emerge happy today? Either way, yes, I am a happy girl, and I have been blessed no matter what the answer becomes.

My dogs are ready to relocate, they scamper up a tall valley wall looking for deer, rabbits, whatever. They pull me along the walk like a magnet. I am not ready to go, but the day is calling, so i oblige them. We don't see any deer today, and i am glad, it would be a huge disruption to our peaceful walk if my girls had broke gate to make chase, me trailing after them with big boots and useless back... They are here all the time, it was like they went and hid so I could have my time alone.

I elevate up the everest like slope and return to the top where the ranch is. I feel as if I did not have enough time, so I plunge forward towards the lake and take a look and a stretch. Then my brain reminds me, "oh, I should do this while i am out here, and then pick up that, and then move that back and then fix that and then get that bird back in the coop and then feed the dogs and cats and...." The day has ensnared me...
]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 06:00:14 GMT 93C3D607A0D7EA1162F43CA5E2A1209B http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175694  Jan 2008 From grass, to 18 inches of snow, to grass in just 3 days. That's Cleveland for you. Change, rapid, swift, change. The question is, is it beautiful to you? Is it hard? What is it to you? Is the glass half full? The grass in winter time is amazing. The green doesn't make sense, therefor it takes on a beauty rarely seen. Sure it's muddy, will you enjoy getting dirty? Or will you curse it? 18 inches of snow in 12 hours. Magnificent, blinding, glowing in celestial fashion, will you enjoy it, will you play in it, will you laugh at it? Will you curse it? I played like a child, took my dogs out, drove my jeep, watched the flakes fall in 100 different ways. I made lots of coffee, fires, reflections. All beautiful to me. I savoured every moment knowing it might be gone soon. It was. Back to grass. Beautiful, warm, spring like. Sure it's muddy, sure i have to change my gear, again. I'll go play. Change. Do you embrace it? It is time for change. I have learned the BEST gifts come when you don't want them. The question is, did you have a talk with yourself beforehand to make sure you'd accept it, should that be the case? I did. Now my gift can stay. Now I am prepared to make change become permanent. What a joyous moment. For me anyway. I choose the glass half full. Oh, but there are two glasses, will I deminish one for the sake of the other? I could. It would be easy to look at the other as half empty. Become half bitter, and half happy. To chose the seemingly half full glass in spite of the other, even tho they are the same, holding myself back, not completing the cycle. Not a chance in hell. I am lifted high above the clouds. In fact, I have poured one glass into the other, and now it's full. And no one can change that but me. Yum. From grass, to 18 inches of snow, to grass in just 3 days. That's Cleveland for you. Change, rapid, swift, change. The question is, is it beautiful to you? Is it hard? What is it to you? Is the glass half full?

The grass in winter time is amazing. The green doesn't make sense, therefor it takes on a beauty rarely seen. Sure it's muddy, will you enjoy getting dirty? Or will you curse it? 18 inches of snow in 12 hours. Magnificent, blinding, glowing in celestial fashion, will you enjoy it, will you play in it, will you laugh at it? Will you curse it?

I played like a child, took my dogs out, drove my jeep, watched the flakes fall in 100 different ways. I made lots of coffee, fires, reflections. All beautiful to me. I savoured every moment knowing it might be gone soon. It was. Back to grass. Beautiful, warm, spring like. Sure it's muddy, sure i have to change my gear, again. I'll go play. Change. Do you embrace it? It is time for change. I have learned the BEST gifts come when you don't want them. The question is, did you have a talk with yourself beforehand to make sure you'd accept it, should that be the case? I did. Now my gift can stay.

Now I am prepared to make change become permanent. What a joyous moment. For me anyway. I choose the glass half full. Oh, but there are two glasses, will I deminish one for the sake of the other? I could. It would be easy to look at the other as half empty. Become half bitter, and half happy. To chose the seemingly half full glass in spite of the other, even tho they are the same, holding myself back, not completing the cycle. Not a chance in hell. I am lifted high above the clouds. In fact, I have poured one glass into the other, and now it's full. And no one can change that but me. Yum.
]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:59:15 GMT 4FD634EF6CD141339029AC0C1A29A5D9 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175693  Feb 2008 This Beautiful Mess When you pour that delicious glass.... It is thick and yummy, you carefully add your chocolate syrup, you put a little too much... You stir... You simply can't wait to enjoy it, all you see is that perfect treat that you want your mouth, mind and body to enjoy. In your zealous effort you swing 'round to put away the ingredients (after all it's the right thing to do) and their goes your beautiful glass of chocolate milk all over the table, floor. Whoops, you made a mess. No sense in crying over this spilled milk... It made the most incredible artistic shape on the floor. You chose to notice it, you chose to let it inspire you. You took a mental picture and it gave you ideas, dreams, goals, a fresh perspective on the inclusions of your life. Are people gonna be mad that your ruined the seat cushion? Yep. People will be mad, mad as hell. They will tell you that you can't have any more, you made a mess of what they had been keeping sterile for so long. This simply makes you feel special, lucky, like a lottery winner. So the chocolate milky picture puddle gave you the plan for the rest of your life... Now you figure, the floor is sterile after all, you might as well get down there and suck it up! mmmmmm. A beautiful mess indeed. This Beautiful Mess

When you pour that delicious glass.... It is thick and yummy, you carefully add your chocolate syrup, you put a little too much... You stir... You simply can't wait to enjoy it, all you see is that perfect treat that you want your mouth, mind and body to enjoy. In your zealous effort you swing 'round to put away the ingredients (after all it's the right thing to do) and their goes your beautiful glass of chocolate milk all over the table, floor. Whoops, you made a mess. No sense in crying over this spilled milk... It made the most incredible artistic shape on the floor. You chose to notice it, you chose to let it inspire you. You took a mental picture and it gave you ideas, dreams, goals, a fresh perspective on the inclusions of your life.

Are people gonna be mad that your ruined the seat cushion? Yep. People will be mad, mad as hell. They will tell you that you can't have any more, you made a mess of what they had been keeping sterile for so long. This simply makes you feel special, lucky, like a lottery winner. So the chocolate milky picture puddle gave you the plan for the rest of your life... Now you figure, the floor is sterile after all, you might as well get down there and suck it up! mmmmmm. A beautiful mess indeed.]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:57:53 GMT 5BC71899211C148D5A4474E43E5CC686 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175692  Feb 2008 the chance for love in life is so short, i don't know why we let circumstances suck the time away from us like a siphon as if our time pool is spring fed. before we know it, it's gone and we have avoided the things that really meet with and change our souls; the things our feelings beg us to do, the places our hearts plead with us to go, as if we are preserving something, what, time? Protecting what, what may not even be good for us? Shortening our journey with each step, loosing our breath in hurried management instead of in love's bliss. the universe only threads the eye of the needle with that love for as long as time takes to pass thru it. will you realize you are passing thru it? the chance for love in life is so short, i don't know why we let circumstances suck the time away from us like a siphon as if our time pool is spring fed. before we know it, it's gone and we have avoided the things that really meet with and change our souls; the things our feelings beg us to do, the places our hearts plead with us to go, as if we are preserving something, what, time? Protecting what, what may not even be good for us? Shortening our journey with each step, loosing our breath in hurried management instead of in love's bliss. the universe only threads the eye of the needle with that love for as long as time takes to pass thru it. will you realize you are passing thru it?
]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:56:41 GMT 1D407474984D33E6923F07A07854441D http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175690  I have no idea what to say today... I am too real. I have too much goodness. I make too many hard choices. I live too loud. I love too hard. I give too well. I laugh too freely. I smile at too simple things. I am too joyful. I am too smart. I am too much together. I take too much time. I move too quickly. I build too solid. I am too loyal. I love too hard. I am too responsible. I am too private. I hold secrets too tightly. I trust too easily. I am too forgiving. I love too completely. I am too true. I take too many chances. I feel too much. I remember too well. I hurt too healthy. I love too hard. I create too beautifully. I sing too close. I walk too far. I dream too much. I work too hard. I say too many right things. I am Queen Elizabeth. I am too the one. I have no idea what to say today.
I am too real. I have too much goodness. I make too many hard choices. I live too loud. I love too hard. I give too well. I laugh too freely. I smile at too simple things. I am too joyful. I am too smart. I am too much together. I take too much time. I move too quickly. I build too solid. I am too loyal. I love too hard. I am too responsible. I am too private. I hold secrets too tightly. I trust too easily. I am too forgiving. I love too completely. I am too true. I take too many chances. I feel too much. I remember too well. I hurt too healthy. I love too hard. I create too beautifully. I sing too close. I walk too far. I dream too much. I work too hard. I say too many right things. I am Queen Elizabeth. I am too the one.

I have no idea what to say today.]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:54:26 GMT 92726BA79E308B828526544994D709B9 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175689  I wanted to blog today, but I just wasn’t sure what would come out, as most of my blogs, they are moments captured in time. I blog my present journey hoping the next day, week, month, will be a reflection of how I really felt, the energy I really engaged, the movements I really felt the universe prodding me to make, feel, absorb, change, flow. And then that my next blog will illustrate that and show me I am listening. (thank you all for your comments) At my age, I feel a new love for learning, loving and feeling, and not that I ever felt like not learning, this is just at light speed, like a tiger shark gobbling up plankton, I open wide the mouth of my mind, soul, heart, body and trust. I am learning, and sometime’s I swallow a dragon, and it hurts. I had a psycho-thriller week. I learned that I cannot apologize for being innocent, for being taken, for feeling the weight of it all, for being sincere, for being angry, for protecting my integrity, for making mistakes, for feeling destroyed, for feeling empowered, for feeling exhausted, for feeling done. I cannot apologize for being positive 99% of the time and having that one fraction of a second in a time of question ruin something. It is all part of learning. I can never apologize for who I am because my agenda is to have things freely come to me and freely go, to cage nothing, but to enjoy everything, every moment, every word, touch, and experience, and to live "as if". Some people’s agenda is to hold on at any cost. I don’t have that kind of time. Do I get fooled? Yes I do. I’m proud of that. I am so proud that I don’t see it, that I wouldn’t conceive it. Even flowers open up every day in the hopes the sun will shine even when it doesn’t. They are fools. Even dogs run to the table when they hear you put your fork down whether there are scraps or not. They are fools. Even humans fall in love with those who might not return it. They are fools. Even stars shine at night when there may be no one wishing. They are fools. Even religions believe in something that they cannot see. They are fools. They all do it for the possibility. I am a fool. Even trees bend and break in an invisible wind.
At my age, I feel a new love for learning, loving and feeling, and not that I ever felt like not learning, this is just at light speed, like a tiger shark gobbling up plankton, I open wide the mouth of my mind, soul, heart, body and trust. I am learning, and sometime’s I swallow a dragon, and it hurts. I had a psycho-thriller week. I learned that I cannot apologize for being innocent, for being taken, for feeling the weight of it all, for being sincere, for being angry, for protecting my integrity, for making mistakes, for feeling destroyed, for feeling empowered, for feeling exhausted, for feeling done. I cannot apologize for being positive 99% of the time and having that one fraction of a second in a time of question ruin something. It is all part of learning. I can never apologize for who I am because my agenda is to have things freely come to me and freely go, to cage nothing, but to enjoy everything, every moment, every word, touch, and experience, and to live "as if". Some people’s agenda is to hold on at any cost. I don’t have that kind of time. Do I get fooled? Yes I do. I’m proud of that. I am so proud that I don’t see it, that I wouldn’t conceive it.

Even flowers open up every day in the hopes the sun will shine even when it doesn’t. They are fools. Even dogs run to the table when they hear you put your fork down whether there are scraps or not. They are fools. Even humans fall in love with those who might not return it. They are fools. Even stars shine at night when there may be no one wishing. They are fools. Even religions believe in something that they cannot see. They are fools. They all do it for the possibility. I am a fool.

Even trees bend and break in an invisible wind.]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:53:21 GMT B9ADDD8705DBE1A2762C6A87A55F155D http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175688  April 2008 Letters From Fans Current mood: thankful These are just a few notes from fans from around the world that I received recently. I am posting them because I am giving a shout out to keep them coming, especially this first one, which made me laugh out loud. I love the stories and the feedback, it keeps me inspired, smiling, writing and loving what I do for a living. Please keep your messages coming good or bad, painful or joyful! I’ll be posting the really cool one’s here. Robin!!! You are my salvation! Here is the story... I..ve got one guy living next door. Well, he is OK guitar-player. But 2 weeks go he decided to make his own band and guess what... They are jamming 24/7 in the next appartment... my neighbors tried to complain, but those guys dont even give a damn... Today..s morning i came over with one of your tracks... and here we go!!! They kept listening to Bury Me for the last 3 hours:) At least... If i have to live with those "musicians", I made them play the music I like:) BTW, Tim is probably going to join in your friends list! Don..t be surprised!!! Bye for now!!!! Robin! I just wanted to say thank you for creating such amazing songs. They have help me out numerous times, and recently have really helped put one of my best friends back into perspective... THANKS! Dorothy Just dropping in to say HI! I discovered your musical universe thanks to n1m. I’m absolutely crazy for your song No Fool, but actually they all rock, just want you to know that your songs have inspired me allot!!! Thank you for just being you. Keep up the good work. Katy. Hi Robin! I heard about your tunes from the colleague of mine! And she pretends to get the hips to the latest styles in music... But I wanted to find out myself whether this stuff was what its cracked to be. Well, I..ve gotta say you have a brilliant stuff here. I mean, like, it..s totally awesome, for sure!!! Stay cool! Kathleen Hey Robin! How are you? I just wanted to say that your music is awesome and deep. I really like it cause its deep and done the right way. It comes from your life, heart, and experiences...thanks for sharing the talent with the world..keep up the great work Holly Robin, you are my NUMERO UNO!!! I cant wait to hear those tunes live. I..d give my right arm to get to your live show!!! And i bet my bottom dollar it will be ZEROOOOO cool! Would you come to my city? Or even somewhere nearby? And if you come, we..ll def live it up! I know what i..m saying!!!THUMBS UP!!!Don Robin Stone!!!Thank you kindly for adding me!!! I admire everything you do!Dont have enough words to express my feelings about your music! It is just Fantastic! Love it SOOOOOOOOOO much! Utah I’m glad to hear from you, Robin. Everybody sais I have good taste in music. LOL. That means you make good music. :) I will send the word out on my page, about your music. I’m sure a lot of my friends would love your music. Well keep up the great work and great music. If you every need anything feel free to write me. :) Thanks and have a nice day or night. LOL. CANDELA. Hello Robin, You are my last good discovery. Your songs are great! Thanks for the add and for your great music. I’ll keep spreading a word and hope to invite you for a concert here in Canada someday..
Letters From Fans
Current mood: thankful
These are just a few notes from fans from around the world that I received recently. I am posting them because I am giving a shout out to keep them coming, especially this first one, which made me laugh out loud. I love the stories and the feedback, it keeps me inspired, smiling, writing and loving what I do for a living. Please keep your messages coming good or bad, painful or joyful! I’ll be posting the really cool one’s here.

Robin!!! You are my salvation! Here is the story...
I..ve got one guy living next door. Well, he is OK guitar-player. But 2 weeks go he decided to make his own band and guess what... They are jamming 24/7 in the next appartment... my neighbors tried to complain, but those guys dont even give a damn... Today..s morning i came over with one of your tracks... and here we go!!! They kept listening to Bury Me for the last 3 hours:) At least... If i have to live with those "musicians", I made them play the music I like:) BTW, Tim is probably going to join in your friends list! Don..t be surprised!!! Bye for now!!!!

Robin! I just wanted to say thank you for creating such amazing songs. They have help me out numerous times, and recently have really helped put one of my best friends back into perspective...
THANKS! Dorothy

Just dropping in to say HI!
I discovered your musical universe thanks to n1m. I’m absolutely crazy for your song No Fool, but actually they all rock, just want you to know that your songs have inspired me allot!!!
Thank you for just being you. Keep up the good work. Katy.

Hi Robin! I heard about your tunes from the colleague of mine! And she pretends to get the hips to the latest styles in music... But I wanted to find out myself whether this stuff was what its cracked to be. Well, I..ve gotta say you have a brilliant stuff here. I mean, like, it..s totally awesome, for sure!!! Stay cool! Kathleen

Hey Robin! How are you? I just wanted to say that your music is awesome and deep. I really like it cause its deep and done the right way. It comes from your life, heart, and experiences...thanks for sharing the talent with the world..keep up the great work Holly

Robin, you are my NUMERO UNO!!! I cant wait to hear those tunes live. I..d give my right arm to get to your live show!!! And i bet my bottom dollar it will be ZEROOOOO cool! Would you come to my city? Or even somewhere nearby? And if you come, we..ll def live it up! I know what i..m saying!!!THUMBS UP!!!Don

Robin Stone!!!Thank you kindly for adding me!!! I admire everything you do!Dont have enough words to express my feelings about your music! It is just Fantastic! Love it SOOOOOOOOOO much! Utah

I’m glad to hear from you, Robin. Everybody sais I have good taste in music. LOL. That means you make good music. :)

I will send the word out on my page, about your music. I’m sure a lot of my friends would love your music.

Well keep up the great work and great music. If you every need anything feel free to write me. :)

Thanks and have a nice day or night.
LOL. CANDELA.

Hello Robin,
You are my last good discovery. Your songs are great!
Thanks for the add and for your great music. I’ll keep spreading a word and hope to invite you for a concert here in Canada someday..]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:51:36 GMT 5663D50748BDC674F0C5CE23F2C2272A http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175687  July 2008 It's taken me a couple of days... I am shocked and devastated. Katie is my favorite Gemini. My twin. She was born just a few hours after I was... When I met Katie, it was a natural bond and I asked her if she was a Gemini - she said "yah!, how'd you know" and I said , but you are a May Gemini, right? Again she shouted "yah!" She told me she had not felt like she could be totally herself around someone so quickly and hoped that she wasn't "too goofy". We were silly for no reason. Anyone who has witnessed Katie and I in the same room knows it was all about goofy, yet she left me in repletion. I had the honor of performing with her on a number of occasions. I had the privilage of performing with her for her last show here in Ohio before her big move. It was in Yellow Springs at Peaches, a club that had become a huge staple in her career and rightly so. So talented, radiant, resplendent. That is when she told me of her diagnosis and that she wasn't quite sure what it was. I saw the fear in her eyes. I mustered up the biggest hug I could and told her if there was anything she needed, just call on me. Little did I know I would be doing benefits for my friend to help carry her load. Fast forward to last month. I went to Yellow Springs to see a healer for my own medical issues and a man walked out of the office and struck up a conversation with me in the lobby. He was a deeply connected man, a good hearted man with a positive spirit, a raconteur. After a few minutes, he said "boy you remind me so much of a friend of mine... Not only do you look like her, but your mannerisms and everything remind me of her. I don't even know if you would know her but her name is Katie Reider." I was shocked and blessed. I said "first of all I will take that as a huge compliment, and yes, I do know her, Katie is my friend." He proceeded to tell me stories about her and her family and her church that I did not know, he gave me a detailed account of her mother's funeral, and I felt like I was there. He said "when you see or talk to Katie, tell her Mr. Chuckles said hello". When I got back into town that night, I had an email from Katie, saying among other things, "sing for me, please, sing for me." I not only promised her that, but I shared that story with her. I hope she was able to read it. I also shared with her my current situation and promised her I would fight this to sing for her, and that I couldn't wait to see her some time. Katie, you did nothing but bring people joy, and it fueled everything else you did, your music, your work ethic, your silliness. You are no doubt sprinkling joy to all who are in your presence right now, you are renascent, and I can't wait to meet you in the stars, somewhere in the constellation of Gemini... I love you my friend. It's taken me a couple of days... I am shocked and devastated.

Katie is my favorite Gemini. My twin. She was born just a few hours after I was... When I met Katie, it was a natural bond and I asked her if she was a Gemini - she said "yah!, how'd you know" and I said , but you are a May Gemini, right? Again she shouted "yah!" She told me she had not felt like she could be totally herself around someone so quickly and hoped that she wasn't "too goofy". We were silly for no reason. Anyone who has witnessed Katie and I in the same room knows it was all about goofy, yet she left me in repletion.

I had the honor of performing with her on a number of occasions. I had the privilage of performing with her for her last show here in Ohio before her big move. It was in Yellow Springs at Peaches, a club that had become a huge staple in her career and rightly so. So talented, radiant, resplendent. That is when she told me of her diagnosis and that she wasn't quite sure what it was. I saw the fear in her eyes. I mustered up the biggest hug I could and told her if there was anything she needed, just call on me. Little did I know I would be doing benefits for my friend to help carry her load.

Fast forward to last month. I went to Yellow Springs to see a healer for my own medical issues and a man walked out of the office and struck up a conversation with me in the lobby. He was a deeply connected man, a good hearted man with a positive spirit, a raconteur. After a few minutes, he said "boy you remind me so much of a friend of mine... Not only do you look like her, but your mannerisms and everything remind me of her. I don't even know if you would know her but her name is Katie Reider." I was shocked and blessed. I said "first of all I will take that as a huge compliment, and yes, I do know her, Katie is my friend."

He proceeded to tell me stories about her and her family and her church that I did not know, he gave me a detailed account of her mother's funeral, and I felt like I was there. He said "when you see or talk to Katie, tell her Mr. Chuckles said hello". When I got back into town that night, I had an email from Katie, saying among other things, "sing for me, please, sing for me." I not only promised her that, but I shared that story with her. I hope she was able to read it. I also shared with her my current situation and promised her I would fight this to sing for her, and that I couldn't wait to see her some time.

Katie, you did nothing but bring people joy, and it fueled everything else you did, your music, your work ethic, your silliness. You are no doubt sprinkling joy to all who are in your presence right now, you are renascent, and I can't wait to meet you in the stars, somewhere in the constellation of Gemini...

I love you my friend.]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:48:36 GMT 71671034E63ADE206DCE7A1EB53BB113 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175686  Wesson Says Goodbye, August 2008 *sigh* ----breath----*sigh* I was up all night holding my little silly siamese kitty, sobbing, trying to say goodbye to her. I was singing all of the songs we wrote, for her to hear them one last time. She talked to me a bit, trilling thru her purr. This morning I let her outside. She loves it so much. She layed down in the grass, to feel the sun on her face one last time. She layed under my apple trees and watched the bees buzz around the apples on the ground, watched the birds play, flit and fight over the seeds in the feeders, and watched me as I sat with her, held her head up, cried some more and told her what a great cat she was. Today is her day. She will say goodbye. She put her paw on my hand as if to say it's ok, and that as much as she hated it too, she was ready. My other cats wandered over and said goodbye to her, then my dogs. This is so hard. No more princess pads, no more silly chinese jokes, no more Wesson records to be made, no more beautiful baby blues to stare at. I will miss those little chocolate balls on the ends of 4 sticks called her feet. I kissed them all before I let her go and before I buried her. She rests complete with a bouquet of flowers from my gardens and one feather, next to my sister's dog, and I am sure she is playing with all who have gone before her. I miss her in her health so badly. No more mice, shrews, rabbits or mink to find on my stoop. No more perfectly alive chipmunks and squirrels in my bedroom, where she'd bring them for me to see how she could just toy with them, and then let them go forgetting there were plenty of hiding spaces for them that even she could not find... No more baby bunny rescues. No more clumbsy, trip, falling, knocking everything off the table or desk while trying to be graceful, and then the, "I meant to do that" look. No more walks in the woods together. No more "you're too slow" bloody finger tips. No more birds, even my birds, in her mouth when I come around the corner... (Sorry Snowy) No more setting your own tail on fire in the candle flame. No more of those special laughs that only Wesson could make you do. No more "Herrrrooooo!" like I heard several times a day. No more snuggles in the bed. No more come when you call her. No more. Well Wesson, I bid you farewell painfully. And on your way to the next life, please, "drive safrey". Wesson Stone May, 1999 - Aug, 2008
*sigh* ----breath----*sigh*

I was up all night holding my little silly siamese kitty, sobbing, trying to say goodbye to her. I was singing all of the songs we wrote, for her to hear them one last time. She talked to me a bit, trilling thru her purr.

This morning I let her outside. She loves it so much. She layed down in the grass, to feel the sun on her face one last time. She layed under my apple trees and watched the bees buzz around the apples on the ground, watched the birds play, flit and fight over the seeds in the feeders, and watched me as I sat with her, held her head up, cried some more and told her what a great cat she was. Today is her day. She will say goodbye. She put her paw on my hand as if to say it's ok, and that as much as she hated it too, she was ready.

My other cats wandered over and said goodbye to her, then my dogs. This is so hard. No more princess pads, no more silly chinese jokes, no more Wesson records to be made, no more beautiful baby blues to stare at. I will miss those little chocolate balls on the ends of 4 sticks called her feet. I kissed them all before I let her go and before I buried her. She rests complete with a bouquet of flowers from my gardens and one feather, next to my sister's dog, and I am sure she is playing with all who have gone before her. I miss her in her health so badly.

No more mice, shrews, rabbits or mink to find on my stoop. No more perfectly alive chipmunks and squirrels in my bedroom, where she'd bring them for me to see how she could just toy with them, and then let them go forgetting there were plenty of hiding spaces for them that even she could not find... No more baby bunny rescues. No more clumbsy, trip, falling, knocking everything off the table or desk while trying to be graceful, and then the, "I meant to do that" look. No more walks in the woods together. No more "you're too slow" bloody finger tips. No more birds, even my birds, in her mouth when I come around the corner... (Sorry Snowy) No more setting your own tail on fire in the candle flame. No more of those special laughs that only Wesson could make you do. No more "Herrrrooooo!" like I heard several times a day. No more snuggles in the bed. No more come when you call her. No more.

Well Wesson, I bid you farewell painfully. And on your way to the next life, please, "drive safrey".

Wesson Stone May, 1999 - Aug, 2008]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:45:55 GMT 4EA300C4AD6805B601FC75277D96FE46 http://shelovesyourecords.com/healthblog.cfm?feature=1043925&postid=175685  Good Bye my Baby Boy , May 2009 Current mood: crushed "You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away." My Neil, my Mr. Fantastic. My Neilio, Neilo, handsome, chocolate boy. My hero, my little love of my life. I miss you so much. I held him after he took his last breath in the back yard. I told him I wasn't sad for him, I was sad for me. I cut a lock of his "diamond" to keep with me. I kissed his feet and touched them one more time. I rubbed his belly, his face and his head. He brought me 6 months of pure happiness. From the moment I delivered him, I called him Neil Diamond from the white diamond on his chest. The mark of a special spirit. He lite up whenever he saw me. He woke me up at 5am every morning cuz he couldn't wait... and of course he wanted his breakfast. He looked for me around every corner. He loved me. He taught me patience, he taught me that happiness just is. He was the little engine that could, and did. I held him tightly. I put my hand in his mouth and said "get me gater, get me alligator," one more time. I looked into his golden, brown eye for a long time looking at my reflection until it became cloudy. I cried my eyes out knowing I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let him go. He was so perfect for my soul. I thought about all the times I was too tired to spend time with him and then realized that because I was tired, I got to spend more time with him. He taught me to walk slowly and enjoy the moments. He taught me that there is much joyful learning in physical limitations. He has only known me since I've been ill. He didn't care, he didn't even notice. We got tired together. We ate together, played together, slept together. He was doing so well. No signs of major stress from his heart murmur. He collided with my other dogs running for a toy Sunday morning. They hit him in the chest. 30 minutes later he had collapsed. It was simply his time, but I say not mine. No. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. It was my Birthday weekend. I miss him. I miss him still peeing in the house by accident. I will never look at a mop the same. I miss him shopping in every open drawer, bin, trash can and toilet. I miss him shredding paper all over the house. I miss his walk and the way he swished his feet on the wood floor. I miss his big bark, and his little bark. I miss calling his name every 20 seconds just cuz I loved seeing him come. I miss him growing every day. We were working on getting him set up for heart surgery, but I always had a feeling he'd never get it. Like he wasn't supposed to. This is two dogs in a row where friends had to dig the graves because I couldn't. I'm not sure what all this loss is about. It's heavy. It's a lot of grieving. It feels like old skin and fur slumping off. Painful but necessary for something new to be revealed underneath. Something grand. That is my vision. For now I am grieving the loss of a child to me, a family member, a friend, a teacher, a healer, a kind soul. I hope he comes back to me in another form. Another dog, or something. I am quite sure I'll recognize him. I really don't want to say goodbye Neil. I want to say hello. Your mommy loves you so much. Current mood: crushed
"You are my sunshine my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away."

My Neil, my Mr. Fantastic. My Neilio, Neilo, handsome, chocolate boy. My hero, my little love of my life. I miss you so much.

I held him after he took his last breath in the back yard. I told him I wasn't sad for him, I was sad for me. I cut a lock of his "diamond" to keep with me. I kissed his feet and touched them one more time. I rubbed his belly, his face and his head. He brought me 6 months of pure happiness. From the moment I delivered him, I called him Neil Diamond from the white diamond on his chest. The mark of a special spirit. He lite up whenever he saw me. He woke me up at 5am every morning cuz he couldn't wait... and of course he wanted his breakfast. He looked for me around every corner. He loved me. He taught me patience, he taught me that happiness just is. He was the little engine that could, and did.

I held him tightly. I put my hand in his mouth and said "get me gater, get me alligator," one more time. I looked into his golden, brown eye for a long time looking at my reflection until it became cloudy. I cried my eyes out knowing I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to let him go. He was so perfect for my soul. I thought about all the times I was too tired to spend time with him and then realized that because I was tired, I got to spend more time with him. He taught me to walk slowly and enjoy the moments. He taught me that there is much joyful learning in physical limitations. He has only known me since I've been ill. He didn't care, he didn't even notice. We got tired together. We ate together, played together, slept together.

He was doing so well. No signs of major stress from his heart murmur. He collided with my other dogs running for a toy Sunday morning. They hit him in the chest. 30 minutes later he had collapsed. It was simply his time, but I say not mine. No. I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready. It was my Birthday weekend. I miss him. I miss him still peeing in the house by accident. I will never look at a mop the same. I miss him shopping in every open drawer, bin, trash can and toilet. I miss him shredding paper all over the house. I miss his walk and the way he swished his feet on the wood floor. I miss his big bark, and his little bark. I miss calling his name every 20 seconds just cuz I loved seeing him come. I miss him growing every day. We were working on getting him set up for heart surgery, but I always had a feeling he'd never get it. Like he wasn't supposed to.

This is two dogs in a row where friends had to dig the graves because I couldn't.

I'm not sure what all this loss is about. It's heavy. It's a lot of grieving. It feels like old skin and fur slumping off. Painful but necessary for something new to be revealed underneath. Something grand. That is my vision.

For now I am grieving the loss of a child to me, a family member, a friend, a teacher, a healer, a kind soul. I hope he comes back to me in another form. Another dog, or something. I am quite sure I'll recognize him.

I really don't want to say goodbye Neil. I want to say hello. Your mommy loves you so much.
]]> Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:42:07 GMT 10841A9425814F8D0D7191CD50F67351